英语幽默笑话300篇PDF电子书下载

一、爱情麻辣烫 1

1．Kiss in the Park／公园里的接吻 2

2．Propose／求婚 3

3．The Husband Has an Affair with Somebody／老公有外遇 4

4．The Third One／第三名 5

5．Think of the Good Side／想想好的一面 6

6．Which Woman?／哪一位女人？ 7

7．Gains Can Not Make Up for the Losses／得不偿失 8

8．Who Is Right?／谁是对的？ 9

9．Praise／称赞 10

10．Dying after Lying-in／产后去世 11

11．The Pig and the Cat／猪和猫 12

12．Pregnant／怀孕 13

13．A White Lie／善意的谎言 14

14．The Mistaken Husband／糊涂的丈夫 15

15．Don't Change the Subject／不要转移话题 16

16．The Husband's Annoyance／丈夫的苦恼 17

17．Jealousness／吃醋 18

18．The Perfectionist／完美主义者 19

19．Investigation Report／调查报告 20

20．A Good Way／驭妻良方 21

21．Outside Activities／外事活动 22

22．I Want Her to Go Nuts／我要让她发疯 24

23．A forgetful Husband／健忘的丈夫 25

24．Response／回应 27

25．Generous Husband／慷慨的老公 28

26．The Bridge of Madison County／廊桥遗梦 29

27．I'm His Second Wife／我就是他的第二个太太 30

28．The Horse Can Talk／马会说话 32

29．Do as You Do／以你为榜样 33

30．KISS／简短点儿，蠢货 34

31．Unfaithful／不忠实 35

32．Dating／约会 36

33．Why Don't You Leave Him?／你为什么不离开他呢？ 37

34．She Is Left-handed／她是左撇子 38

35．Vice-president／副总裁 40

36．Cemetery／墓地 41

37．Contented Married Life／心满意足的婚姻生活 43

38．You're Not Going to Make It／你活不成了 45

39．Good Service／优质服务 47

40．A Long Hot Bath／好好洗个热水澡 49

41．Be Careful／要慎重 51

42．Fishy Trip／可疑的旅行 53

二、生活百味堂 55

43．Only One Eye to Settle On／一眼看中 56

44．A Very Good Report／一篇很好的报道 57

45．Don't Let the Child Miss the Chance／别让孩子错过机会 58

46．No Excuse at All／没有理由 59

47．Congratulations／恭喜 60

48．Looking for a Companion／找个伴侣 61

49．Who Was More Polite?／谁更有礼貌？ 62

50．Wedding or Not?／是否结婚？ 63

51．So Many Acquaintances／熟人太多 64

52．Chaude and Cold／热与冷 65

53．Secret for a Long Life／长寿秘诀 67

54．Einstein's Overcoat／爱因斯坦的大衣 68

55．A Woman Who Fell／一位摔倒的女人 70

56．Because I'm a Gentleman／因为我是绅士 71

57．Wouldn't You Know?／你不是要知道吗？ 72

58．Help／搭救 73

59．Broke My Neck／我的脖子被撞断了 74

60．My Wife Thinks So／我老婆这样认为 75

61．The Young Man at the Wheel／开车的小伙子 76

62．At the Supermarket／在超级市场 77

63．Take as a Memento／照相留念 78

64．Spent Their Honeymoon There／在那里度过蜜月 79

65．A Talk on the Phone／电话交谈 80

66．My Lawyer／我的律师 81

67．The Present／礼物 82

68．The Advantage of Noise／噪音的好处 84

69．The Mean Man's Invitation／吝啬鬼的邀请 85

70．Is This a Boy or a Girl?／这是个男孩还是个女孩？ 86

71．Point of No Return／有去无回 87

72．Avant-garde／前卫 88

73．The Worst Day／最倒霉的一天 90

74．Disconcerting／尴尬 92

75．Thanks a Lot,Sergeant／多谢了，班长 94

76．A Man Who Said No／说“不”的男子 96

77．Woman Is Like the Little Finger／女人像小拇指 98

78．The Gate of Heaven／天堂门 100

79．The Birthday Present／生日礼物 102

80．On a Train／在火车上 104

81．Honesty／诚实 106

82．The Wrong Vice-president／搞错了的副总统 108

83．A Wonderful Computer Scale／奇妙的计算机秤 110

84．An Explanation of Being Late／迟到的理由 112

85．Perfect Match／绝配 114

86．He Was Insured／他已被投保 116

87．Raising the Ransom Money／筹集赎金 118

88．A Short Message On Christmas Eve／平安夜的短信 120

89．What Day of the Week Did He Go Away?／星期几走的？ 121

90．Where Do You Want These Blinds?／窗帘挂于何处？ 123

91．Singing or Crack?／歌声还是爆裂声？ 125

92．Old Friend Agreed to Help／老朋友同意帮助 127

93．A Free Ride／免费乘车 129

94．In Prison／蹲监狱 131

95．A Blonde Borrows／美女借钱 133

96．Shark Challenge／挑战鲨鱼 135

97．Big Man in a Small Town／小镇上的大人物 137

三、家庭谐趣园 139

98．The Most Horrific Book／最恐怖的书 140

99．All I DoIs to Pay the Bill／我要做的一切就是付钱 141

100．What's the Matter with You?／你怎么啦？ 142

101．The Long and Short of It／长短之说 143

102．You're What We Talked about／你就是我们谈论的对象 144

103．A Nickel and Two Dimes／五分镍币和两个一角的银币 145

104．A Rule／规矩 146

105．The Difference of Parents／父母有别 147

106．A Girl Just like Mother／一个像母亲一样的女孩 149

107．Get a Job／找个工作 150

108．Do You Know What That Sound Means? 你们知道那声音意味着什么吗？ 151

109．The Russian Baby／俄国婴儿 153

110．Receive a Lashing／承认就要挨打 155

111．A Letter to Son／给儿子的信 157

112．Expectant Father／准爸爸 159

四、童趣百分百 161

113．Fish and Chicken／鱼与鸡 162

114．Doll／洋娃娃 163

115．Who Should the Present Be Given?／礼物该给谁？ 164

116．He Won／他赢了 165

117．A Fall／摔倒 166

118．On the Telephone／打电话 167

119．The Fat Girl's Jealousy／胖女孩的妒忌 169

120．Afraid of the Dark／害怕黑暗 170

121．Should Be a Politician／应该从政 171

122．Oh,ISee／噢，我明白了 172

123．Who Is the Laziest?／谁最懒？ 173

124．Learning to Share／学会共同分享 174

125．Studying Environment／学习环境 175

126．Who Did You Have in Mind?／谁是你的意中人呢？ 176

127．Slower Is Better／慢点好 177

128．A Bad Impression／糟糕的印象 178

129．Where It Should Be Plugged／插在何处 179

130．That's Because It's Empty／那是因为它是空的 180

131．Boy,oh Boy／让人无奈的孩子 181

132．Stunning Reply／出色的回答 182

133．The New Baby／新生婴儿 183

134．Shade in the Street／大街上的阴凉处 185

135．Twelve Ducks／十二只鸭子 187

136．It's Too Bad You Don't Know／真糟糕，你竟然不知道 189

137．Only One Cake Left／只剩一块了 191

138．A Holiday from School／休假 193

139．Why Don't You Buy a Watch?／为什么不买块手表呢？ 195

140．She's on the Roof／她在房顶上 197

141．The Watermelon Patch／西瓜地 199

五、校园怪味豆 201

142．It Must Be Unusual／它一定不寻常 202

143．I Don't Know／我不知道 203

144．The Answer／答案 204

145．When Was Rome Built?／罗马是什么时候建成的？ 205

146．The Teacher's Notation／老师的批语 206

147．The Longest and the Shortest／最长的和最短的 207

148．Half or Five Tenths／半个还是十分之五 208

149．The Best Explanation／最好的解释 209

150．The Oldest Musical Instrument／最古老的乐器 210

151．A Funny Dialogue／搞笑对话 211

152．Patriotism／爱国主义 212

153．Against Expectation／意外 213

154．Waiting for My Secretary／在等我的秘书 214

155．Where Is Your Picture?／你的画呢？ 215

156．What Are Left Behind?／还剩下什么？ 216

157．Two Birds／两只鸟 217

158．The Most Beautiful Thing／最美的东西 218

159．Actual Age／实际年龄 219

160．Nest and Hair／鸟窝与头发 220

161．Be Late／迟到 221

162．A History Lesson／一节历史课 223

163．A Tough Teacher／强悍的教师 225

164．All except the Music／除了音乐 227

165．Guess the Animal／猜动物 229

166．But the Teacher Did／可是老师哭了 231

167．The Inportance of Punctuation／标点符号的重要性 232

168．Day after Day／日复一日 234

169．Three Days to Live／只能再活三天 235

170．Civil Rights／公民权 237

171．The Teacher's Pest／老师的调皮生 238

172．Class,Lass and Ass／班级、情人和蠢驴 240

173．A Midshipman／海军军官候补生 242

174．Lawyer's "Speak"／律师的“说辞” 244

175．Who Cheated?／谁作弊了？ 246

176．Lip Prints／唇印 248

177．Just Helpless／无可救药 250

178．Keys or Kiss?／钥匙还是接吻？ 252

179．I'll See You Monday／星期一见 254

180．Do You Know Who I Am?／你认识我吗？ 256

181．Homework／家庭作业 258

182．Overweight／超重 260

六、主顾PK秀 261

183．Just a Minute／请稍等 262

184．Answer According to the Facts／如实回答 263

185．That Would Be Much Worse／可能更糟 264

186．How Did You Ever Get Here?／你是怎样到达这儿的？ 265

187．But I Am Satisfied with That／但是我非常满意 266

188．A New Employee／新雇员 267

189．I Can't Raise It Any Longer／再也养不起它了 268

190．Every Year／每年 269

191．Today It Is Worse／今天更糟糕 270

192．It Depends／视情况而定 271

193．Turn Left／向左转 273

194．One Hundred Times／抄写100遍 274

195．You're Fired／你被炒鱿鱼了 275

196．Being Shocked／相当震惊 276

197．I Want to Get Out／我要出去 277

198．Pink Suit Sale／粉红套装售出 279

199．An Arithmetic Problem／一个算术问题 281

200．A Creative Defense／独创的辩护 283

201．Appreciation／升值 285

202．The Legs Will Fall Off／桌腿会掉下来 286

203．A Hasty Interruption／匆忙打断 287

204．The Cat and the Saucer／猫与托盘 289

205．A Natural Process／自然过程 291

206．What's Your Name?／你叫什么名字？ 293

207．An Advertisement／一则广告 295

208．Ways and Means／花招 297

七、医患碰碰车 299

209．Bones／骨头 300

210．Where Is It?／在哪儿？ 301

211．Very Common／相当正常 302

212．I Think That I'm a Chicken／我认为我是一只鸡 303

213．A New Problem／新问题 304

214．Home,Sweet Home／还是家里好 305

215．Just Loosen／仅松动一点 306

216．You're Smarter／你变聪明了 307

217．Vasectomy／结扎 308

218．Dose It Hurt Very Much?／你的牙很疼吗？ 309

219．Difficult to Give Up／难以割舍 311

220．The Bait／诱饵 313

221．The Doctor Lives Downstairs／医生住在楼下 315

222．A Bad Memory／健忘 316

223．Cut the Legs off the Bed／把床腿锯掉 317

224．What's the Good News?／好消息是什么？ 319

225．I Drop My Weight from Skipping／我用跳来减肥 321

226．Illegible Writing／无法辨认的字迹 323

227．He Lowered Her Chair Six Inches／他把她的椅子降低了6英寸 324

228．Only Started Practice Yesterday／昨天才开业 326

229．80-year-old／八十岁 327

230．A Bad Doctor／庸医 329

231．I'm That Man's Tailor／我就是那人的裁缝师 332

232．Mental Deficiency／智力缺陷 334

233．We'll Work on Your Hearing／下一步就治你的听力 336

234．Loud,Mad and Sad／又吵又疯又悲伤 338

八、动物大世界 339

235．The Importance of a Foreign Language／外语的重要性 340

236．Does the Dog Know the Proverb?／狗知道这条谚语吗？ 341

237．Giving Presents／送礼 342

238．Cow on Train Tracks／铁轨上的母牛 343

239．Three very Tough Mice／三只强壮的老鼠 344

240．Golfer／高尔夫球手 345

241．Mosquitoes with Lanterns／提着灯笼的蚊子 347

242．I Must Marry Him／我一定要嫁给他 348

243．The Complaining of a Hen and a Cow／鸡和牛的抱怨 349

244．Frog's Dream／青蛙的梦想 350

245．A Clever Dog／聪明的狗 351

246．He Couldn't Swim the Atlantic／它游不过大西洋 352

247．Dancing Duck／会跳舞的鸭 353

九、脑筋急转弯 355

248．When Do People Talk Least?／人什么时候说话最少？ 356

248．Why did the Lady Liberty Hold a Torch?为什么自由女神要高举火炬？ 357

250．The Best Answer／最佳答案 358

251．It Is an Oak Tree／这是一棵橡树 359

252．American Dream／美国梦 360

十、宗教小布丁 361

253．In a Second／过一秒钟 362

254．Adam's Suit／亚当的衣服 363

255．Talking to Heaven／天堂通话 364

256．What's His Number?／他的电话号码是多少？ 365

257．Hit Him Again／再砸他一次 366

258．Bat Problem／蝙蝠问题 367

259．The Story of a Young Cleric／年轻牧师的经历 369

260．I Have Faith in the Lord／我相信上帝 371

261．A Prospective Horse Buyer／欲买马之人 373

262．Heaven and Hell／天国与地狱 375

263．The Proper Behavior／举止得体 377

十一、幽默大杂烩 379

264．A Foolish Police Officer／愚蠢的警官 380

265．I Wish It Were Blood／但愿是血 381

266．I Did Not／我没有那样说 382

267．Seventeen／十七 383

268．Regret／遗憾 384

269．The One in the Middle／要中间的那个 385

270．Two Clever Guys／两个聪明的家伙 386

271．Must Be Enraged to Crazy／一定会被气疯的 387

272．Bad Drivers／糟糕的司机 388

273．Drunk／醉酒 389

274．Can You Run Faster Than the Tiger?／你能跑得比老虎还快吗？ 390

275．The Leading Lady Is Crazy／女主角发疯 391

276．All's Well That Ends Well／结局好的就是好 392

277．That's a Lift／这是电梯 393

278．Go after Number 21／紧盯21号 394

279．We Have Caught Three of Them／我们已经抓住了三个 395

280．The Perfect Solution／完美解决之道 397

281．More Light／光线充足 399

282．An Exact Number／准确数字 401

283．Sky-diving Competition／跳伞比赛 402

284．A Rookie／初出茅庐 404

285．A Funeral Oration／悼词 406

286．A Place to Sleep in／一个睡的地方 407

287．This Hole in the Ground／地坑 409

288．German Visit／德国之行 411

289．Why?／为什么？ 413

290．You Are the Fifth／你是第五条（鱼） 415

十二、吹牛免税区 417

291．A Branch Office／子公司 418

292．A Beat-up Car／破车 419

293．Whose Dog Is Smarter?／谁的狗更聪明？ 420

294．There Flies a Dead Duck／飞走的死鸭 421

295．What a Big Beach／多么大的海滩 422

296．Whose Father Was the Stronger?／谁的老爸更强壮？ 423

297．I Can't Sell It／我不卖 424

298．Boasting／吹牛 425

299．Surgeons／外科医生 427

300．Two Farmers／两个农夫 429

附：用幽默法为词语下定义 431

1．Part One／第一部分 432

2．Part Two／第二部分 434

3．Part Three／第三部分 436

4．Part Four／第四部分 438