《英语幽默大观》PDF下载

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  • 作  者:刘永科主编
  • 出 版 社:北京:中国国际广播出版社
  • 出版年份:2009
  • ISBN:9787507800371
  • 页数:345 页
图书介绍:本书由433篇英语幽默小故事组成,文中的英语难词表明了词义,方便了读者,文后还有阅读理解练习题,可检验读者是否看懂小故事。

1.Clever Black Hens 1

2.A Good Deed 1

3.The Teacher's Notation 2

4.Heat and Cold 2

5.It Doesn't Matter 3

6.Dead or Alive? 4

7.Wonderful Science 5

8.The Weight 5

9.God Said 6

10.A Parrot 7

11.Horrible Stories 7

12.The Pot Died 8

13.They Are in My Hand 9

14.He's Broken My Toy 10

15.The Third Chicken 11

16.My Father Is Speaking 11

17.Yes,Sir 12

18.The Excuse 13

19.Say That to Herself 13

20.A Liar 14

21.A Good Child 14

22.The Professor's Lunch 15

23.How Old Are You? 16

24.The Only Cake 17

25.The Lost Ring 17

26.Who Knows? 18

27.The Exact Length 19

28.Stick the Stamp on Yourself 20

29.An Umbrella 20

30.Are Flies Good to Eat? 21

31.Was It a Horse? 22

32.The Best and the Poorest 22

33.Six Answers to One Problem 23

34.The Look of the Letter G 24

35.The Location of the Nile 24

36.Did You Put Out the Light? 24

37.It's Because 25

38.Do You Know Music? 25

39.Heavier 26

40.He Didn't Help Me 26

41.Six and Four Are 26

42.A Polite Boy 27

43.5-2=? 27

44.What Did I Do in School Today? 28

45.The Queerest Thing 29

46.She Understands 29

47.The Barber's Explanation 30

48.No Wonder 30

49.Just Helpless 31

50.Buying Bread 32

51.Pleased to Meet You 33

52.An Absent-minded Professor 34

53.But You Have Got One 34

54.Why Was He Angry? 35

55.I'd Look Even Sillier 36

56.The Same 36

57.I,You and She 37

58.A Race 38

59.A Nautical Mile and a Mile 39

60.I Just Want to Make Sure 89

61.I Don't Know Where I'm Going 40

62.The Bet 41

63.The Bait 42

64.Peter's Answer 42

65.The Meaning of Having a New Baby 43

66.Rain 44

67.Mrs.Williams and Mice 45

68.Not So Easy 45

69."I"or"Eye" 46

70.Not for Today 47

71.That's Just the Trouble 47

72.A Dirtier Hand 48

73.Honesty 49

74.No Charge for the Luggage 50

75.Look Out 50

76.Mistaken 51

77.Too Drunk 52

78.Tom Saw a Tiger 53

79.The King and the Critic 53

80.Tommy and Olives 54

81.A Careless Professor 55

82.Mosquitoes with Lanterns 56

83.A Funnier Story 57

84.Mother or Father 57

85.Out They Go 58

86.A Spider in the Paper 59

87.Too Poor 59

88.Not a Penny More 60

89.A Picture of Police and Robber 61

90.Ten Years'Work 62

91.The Father of All Things 62

92.Hit Him Again 63

93.He Prefers 64

94.The Clever Cock 65

95.Moving Pictures 66

96.She Wants to Keep Them 66

97.But I Must Find It 67

98.To Lie or to Be Polite 68

99.Who's That Strange Man? 69

100.A Polite Robber 70

101.I Know You Would 70

102.Shorter Hours 71

103.For Something Undone 72

104.A Sign 72

105.Asking the Way 73

106.Ten Years Younger 74

107.The Shape of the Earth 74

108.My Feet Won't Fit 75

109.A Piece of Advice 75

110.On and Off 76

111.An English Boy in Spain 76

112.The Farmhand and the Landlord 77

113.Shouting His Prayers 78

114.Who Is the Printer? 79

115.A Man in My Bed 80

116.Don't Worry 81

117.Constancy 82

118.More 82

119.A Gift 83

120.The Products 83

121.I Really Had to 84

122.Take a Chance 85

123.The Colour of the Traffic-lights 85

124.A Barking Dog Does Not Bite 86

125.The Stranger and the Schoolmaster 87

126.I Wasn't Listening 88

127.A Fly in the Soup 89

128.Not Necessary 89

129.Honesty 90

130.Unexpected 90

131.Ladies First 91

132.The Subject of My Essay 91

133.Please Kick! 92

134.I Used Them to Patch the Hole 92

135.I Don't Have the Time 93

136.Cut the Legs off the Bed 94

137.An Evidence 95

138.The Plural of Child 95

139.Fools Multiply Fast 96

140.Necessary Hole 96

141.They've Done Their Best 97

142.A Proof 97

143.You Must Have a Walking Stick 98

144.What's His Number? 99

145.At the End 100

146.Wonderful Machine 100

147.The Fool 101

148.Three and Three Hundred 101

149.They Know Everything 102

150.The Way to the Hospital 102

151.The New Teacher 103

152.Clever or Stupid? 103

153.A Polite Horse 104

154.Nothing to Nothing 105

155.At the Barber's 105

156.Training a Dog to Bark 106

157.The Man Running after the Bus 106

158.Regret 107

159.I Don't Hope You'll Be Late 108

160.Who Is He? 108

161.Wife and Dog 109

162.Peas 110

163.White Hair 110

164.A Nickel and Two Dimes 111

165.This Is Some Foolish Person 111

166.A Pair of Wrong Shoes 112

167.How Many Lights Were There? 113

168.Better Sold than Given 114

169.Answering the Phone 115

170.Two Vagrants 115

171.On the Field of Battle 116

172.They Never Stop 116

173.That Will Cost Me More 117

174.Brilliant Opinion 118

175.Boy and Grown-up 118

176.Dense Fog 119

177.I'm Not Having It All Cut Off 120

178.Who Shall I Blame? 121

179.On Shooting 121

180.Saying Good-bye 122

181.Husband and Son 123

182.Which of You Hears Me First? 124

183.The Rich and the Learned 125

184.The Float 125

185.Whom Do You Believe? 126

186.Who Is Fooled? 127

187.The Cat That Caused a Wedding 127

188.Did You Hear 128

189.I'd Better Come Later 129

190.What Happened in 1812? 129

191.Who Was the First Man? 130

192.A Call 130

193.The Sheep and the Money 131

194.The Pen 132

195.A Forgetful Man 132

196.What If He Does No Wrong Again? 133

197.Who Is a Miser? 133

198.Joe Richards'Birthday 134

199.How Much Is This One? 135

200.The Present 136

201.If I Was in It 137

202.Who Cheated? 138

203.The Dumb Speaks 139

204.Two Trips 140

205.Go through the Monkey Mountain 141

206.Too Clever 142

207.A Dance Teacher 143

208.We Have Caught Three of Them 144

209.Offer Choice 145

210.Invention 145

211.May I Look at the Book Again? 146

212.At the Box Office 147

213.The Call of the Child 147

214.An Apple and an Onion 148

215.Flying Age 148

216.He Didn't Notice It 149

217.The Bathroom Singer 149

218.A Sad Story 150

219.My Horse Eats Fish 151

220.Quick Thinking 152

221.That's Easy 153

222.Mark Twain and the Old Man 154

223.The Closest Answer 155

224.The Woman Knew Everything 155

225.The Carter's Light 158

226.100 Percent 159

227.What Do You Eat First? 160

228.Why Be Fired? 160

229.A Good Guesser 161

230.What Is It Made from? 161

231.All Changed 162

232.Disturbing 162

233.Congratulation 163

234.A History Examination 164

235.A Grazing Cow 164

236.Tit for Tat 165

237.The Shopkeeper's Journey 165

238.Mr.Baker In Trouble? 169

239.Poor Sidney 171

240.Saving Up for Shoes 174

241.Happiness 175

242.The First Things to Do 176

243.The Most Obedient 176

244.For the Owner 177

245.Six or Eleven 178

246.A Strange Place 178

247.The Secret of Success 179

248.A Bargain 180

249.A Considerate Son 180

250.Not for a Fight 181

251.An Expensive Idea 182

252.Qualified or Not 183

253.The Embarrassing Surname 184

254.A Long—cherished Wish 184

255.Not for This 185

256.The Hint 186

257.No Hoe 186

258.I Just Keep Seeing My Daddy! 187

259.Different Times 188

260.The Preacher and the Snorer 188

261.The Secret of Long Life 189

262.How Much More Do I Owe You? 190

263.Branch office 191

264.You've Hit It 191

265.Is Your Wife Home Now? 192

266.The Front Door 193

267.Too Late 193

268.It's Closed 194

269.In an Awkward Situation 195

270.To Make a Good Impression 195

271.Sucker 196

272.At a Dry Cleaner's 197

273.A Trick That Never Fails 197

274.She's on the Roof 198

275.A Bad Foot 199

276.How Could I Answer? 200

277.Dig a Bigger Hole at the Bottom 201

278.In a Maths Class 202

279.My Father Wouldn't Like That 202

280.Many Things in Common 203

281.At Your Service 203

282.How Much Is It? 204

283.Taken for a Ride 205

284.Jack Didn't Know Napoleon Was Ill 206

285.A Shave or a Haircut? 207

286.It's Unfair 208

287.A Pretty Carpet 208

288.I'm Qualified at Last 209

289.Just Helpless 210

290.How Did I Get Up Here? 211

291.The First Volunteer 212

292.On a Train 213

293.The Letter-box Key 214

294.Saving and Moan 215

295.Somebody with Imagination 216

296.Money Problem 217

297.A Note 218

298.What Had He Been Smuggling? 219

299.A Lucky Day 220

300.It's Terribly Noisy Down Stairs 221

301.It's Not Worthwhile to Do So 222

302.Asking for Trouble 223

303.Whose Fault 224

304.Sweet Wine 225

305.Missending 226

306.He Couldn't Swim the Atlantic 227

307.A Clear Conscience 228

308.The Loss Outweighs the Gain 229

309. Always Have to Stand 230

310.Single-minded 230

311.A Dentist and a Patient 231

312.Loving Couples 232

313.An Imaginative Wife 232

314.Not Even a Minute 233

315.Kind-hearted 234

316.Really Worried 235

317.Illegible Writing 235

318.Falling 236

319.Tom Wanted to Buy Reading 237

320.A Sly Parrot 238

321.A Forgetful Actor 239

322.Seeing a Doctor 240

323.Herman's Trouble 240

324.A Mural 241

325.An Avid Football Fan or Not 242

326.Women Live Longer Than Men 243

327.Being in Bank or Zoo 243

328.An Unexcepted Gift 244

329.A Wonderful Computer Scale 245

330.A Witty Reply 246

331.Marking the Spot 246

332.No Escape 247

333.A Birthday Present 249

334.Here I Am Again 250

335.I Never Listen 251

336.A Clever Painter 252

337.A Pair of Odd Shoes 253

338.Everything But the Door Is There 254

339.Drinking for My Friend 255

340.Ask for a Job 256

341.Amputation 257

342.You Might Have Forgotten 257

343.It's Mother Who Broke It 258

344.Hat Off 258

345.The Bull's Milk 259

346.A Drinker's Success 261

347.He Looks like a Monkey 262

348.Churchill and His Speech 263

349.A Friend to My House 264

350.Two Sailors 265

351.A Driver at the Court 266

352.The Rich Man's Sons 267

353.April Fool 269

354.Aren't You His Father? 270

355.Fully Prepared 271

356.That's My Bag 271

357.It Couldn't Be Worse 272

358.A Boy in the Letter-box 273

359.Older Hair 273

360.Glasses 274

361.A Disappointing Visit 274

362."On Time"Person 275

363.Taking a Taxi 276

364.Passage Six 276

365.Something Really Special 277

366.15 Years Earlier 278

367.Unexpected Resort 279

368.A Fire 279

369.A Fall 280

370.Little Anthony 281

371.A Holiday 281

372.Amercian Way of Lifev 282

373.What's the Matter with You? 282

374.What's the Matter? 283

375.Only Men's Clothes in the Shop 284

376.Poor Daddy! 284

377.Driving a Car 285

378.My Name Is Stonebreaker 285

379.The Naughty Monkey 286

380.What Are You Crying about? 287

381.A Silly Rabbit 288

382.My Husbands's Bones Are in the Box 289

383.Do You Have Something Cheaper? 290

384.It Must Be a Very Good Business 291

385.In a Train Car 292

386.The Coffee-pot Isn't Lost 293

387.That's All She Needs 293

388.The Pure Water 294

389.Ditto 295

390.The Priest and the Taxi-driver 296

391.A Tourist 297

392.Trouble with Nose and Ears 298

393.Such a Musical Voice 299

394.Train Yourself to Be Patient 300

395.The Lawyer's Trick 301

396.Sock Exchange 302

397.Have a Bath 302

398.The Signature 303

399.What was the Man's Crime? 303

400.Old Master 304

401.A Strange Will 305

402.A 650-pound Cook 306

403.Fire!Fire! 307

404.The Absent-minded Professor 308

405.The King and His Bag of Gold 309

406.Nothing to It 310

407.Flattery 311

408.Waiting to Make a Phone Call 312

409.Something Must Be Right 312

410.I Used to Be like You 313

411.Anybody Loses a Half-dollar? 313

412.Please Identify Yourself 314

413.Wait Until 315

414.The Sad Clown 315

415.A Good Friend 317

416.Only One Honest Way 317

417.What Happened to His Grandfather? 318

418.Tit for Tat 319

419.A Silly Boy 320

420.Use Your"And" 321

421.I Cannot Remember Anything 322

422.Sold Out 323

423.I Have Faith in the Lord 324

424.Can You Figure It Out? 325

425.The Effect 326

426.Singing or Crack? 327

427.Such a Forgetful Couple 328

428.A Handwriting Expert 329

429.Spread Flour on a Rope 330

430.The Man of Great Importance 332

431.The New World 333

432.Oh,That Garden! 336

433.A Broken Vase 339

Key to Exercises 342