听幽默故事记单词PDF电子书下载

Unit 1　Work and School Jokes 2

［一］无法完成的期末考试　Impossible final exams 2

［二］缺考的学生　Two students missing an exam 6

［三］联邦调查局的面试　A Job Interview with FBI 9

［四］玛丽的妙语　Many's Answers 13

［五］孤僻的小男生　An Isolated Little Boy 16

［六］经理的愿望　The Manager's wish 19

［七］公司赛艇　Boot Race between Companies 22

［八］如何显得很忙　How to Look Busy at Work 26

［九］卫生间里的口红　Lipstick in the Bathroom 30

［十］噩耗　Word of the Tragedy 33

Unit 2　Animals 37

［一］试飞　Trying To Fly 37

［二］夜贼与鹦鹉　The Burglar and The Parrot 40

［三］农夫的宝贝羊　The Farmer's Prize Goat 43

［四］死兔　Dead Rabbit 46

［五］购买鳄鱼皮鞋　Buy Alligator Shoes 49

［六］赛场上的马　Horses at the Race 52

［七］这些鸡要书　These Chickens Want Books 55

［八］棕发小姐的绝招　Comfortable 58

［九］调查一起严重事故　Investigating A Terrible Accident 62

［十］找工作的狗　A Dog Wants an Office Job 65

Unit 3　Lawyers 70

［一］好心的律师　The Kind Lawyer! 70

［二］永恒的婚姻　Eternal Marriage 73

［三］信任　Trust 76

［四］天国门外的律师　Lawyer at the Pearly Gates 80

［五］地狱里的房间　Room in Hell 83

［六］买票　Ticket Please 86

［七］教皇与律师　The Pope and the Lawyer 89

［八］律师的说服力　Lawyer:Send Me 92

［九］付出　Giving 95

［十］得克萨斯式的公正　Texas Justice 98

Unit 4　Old People Jokes 103

［一］60岁的老人　60-year-old man 103

［二］重返童年　To Be Young Again 106

［三］三个老人　Three Old Men 109

［四］老奶奶和警察　Granny and the Cop 113

［五］叫我妈妈　Call Me"Mother" 116

［六］会说话的青蛙　Talking Frog 119

［七］护理所　The Nursing Home 122

［八］妖怪与啤酒　Genie and the Beer 126

［九］汽笛声　The Whistle 129

［十］这是第一次　That's Once 133

Unit 5　Kids 138

［一］巨大的秘密　Deep Dark Secrets 138

［二］洗狗　Washing the Dog! 141

［三］童言无忌　Kid Sayings! 144

［四］孩子的高见　Sound Advice From Kids! 147

［五］爸爸的过去与今天　Fathers then＆now 150

［六］吞了一枚硬币　Swallowed A Penny 153

［七］艾伦，别哭　Ellen,Don't Cry 156

［八］定义青少年　Defining teenagers 159

［九］祷告　Praying 162

［十］寻找丹尼　Finding Danny 165

Unit 6　Bar Jokes 169

［一］神奇的青蛙　Looking to buy a frog？ 169

［二］允许上班喝酒的理由　Reasons to Allow Drinking At Work 173

［三］我不欠你的酒钱　I don't owe anything for this drink 176

［四］测试　The Test 179

［五］酒吧里的熊猫　Panda in a Bar 182

［六］爬回家　Crawling Home 185

［七］在三个字之内　In Just 3 Words 188

［八］酒吧里的修女　A nun arrives at the local bar 191

［九］喝啤酒的科学解释　Great Reason to Drink Beer! 194

［十］它看起来像塑料　It Looks Like Plastic 197

Unit 7　Doctors 201

［一］医学院的新学生　The New Medical Students 201

［二］寻找牙医　Looking For a Dentist 204

［三］大声喧哗的技工　The Loud-mouthed Mechanic 207

［四］你可以买单吗？　Can You Pay the Bill? 210

［五］臭屁不断　Farts Everywhere! 213

［六］你所不想听到的　You Don't Want to Hear These 216

［七］葬礼　Funeral 219

［八］三个精神病医生　Three Shrinks 222

［九］钙　Calcium 225

［十］五个医生　Five Doctors 228

Unit 8　Computer Jokes 232

［一］比尔·盖茨在天国之门　Bill Gates at the Pearly Gates! 232

［二］新年的决心　New Year's Resolutions 236

［三］盖茨与通用　Gates Vs GM 239

［四］电脑是男是女？　Computers:Male or Female? 242

［五］问电脑：上帝存在吗？　To Computer:Is There a God? 246

［六］女友升级　Girlfriend Upgrades 249

［七］何时关电脑　It's Time to Turn Off the Computer When 252

［八］新病毒　New viruses 256

［九］世界上最聪明的人　The World's Smartest Man 259

［十］电脑房搞怪10大绝招　10 Ways to Mess With People in a Computer Lab 262

Unit 9　Fools 266

［一］神奇的电梯　Elevator 266

［二］侍者的汤匙　Waiter's Spoon 269

［三］酒后驾车　Drunk Driving 272

［四］应聘驯狮员　Lion tamer 275

［五］食人族轶事　Cannibals 278

［六］三个信封　Three envelopes 281

［七］格林先生的窍门　Green's Tips 284

［八］圣徒　Saint 287

［九］有打火机吗？　Got a Light? 291

［十］愚人正传　True Stories 294

Unit 10　Musician Jokes 298

［一］天国之门的音乐家　Musician at the Pearly Gates 298

［二］盲兔与盲蛇　Blind Rabbit and Blind Snake 301

［三］小提琴师的谎言　Violinist's Lie 304

［四］偏见　Prejudice 307

［五］神奇的填充老鼠　Stuffed Rat 310

［六］临时指挥　Temporary Conductor 313

［七］中提琴手和羊　A Violist and Sheep 316

［八］芝加哥交响乐团的音乐家　A Musician from the Chicago Symphony 319

［九］音乐界的秘密　Secrets of the Music Biz 322

［十］荒岛鼓声　Continuous drum 325