生活智慧宝典 开心笑话 英汉对照PDF电子书下载

Boy,oh Boy 3

Laughing and Crying 3

目录 3

童趣篇 3

笑与哭 4

让人无奈的孩子 4

I Got the Wrong Number 5

Two Pounds of Plums 5

我拨错号了 6

两磅李子 6

We Don't Live Here 7

Black Cat Can Bring Luck 7

我们不住在这儿 8

黑猫带来吉祥 8

A Clever Son 9

I'm Sorry 9

Where Is Father 9

聪明的儿子 10

我很惋惜 10

爸爸在哪儿 10

Father and Son 11

Grapes and Bananas 11

父与子 12

葡萄和香蕉 12

Chap in the Coffin 13

Where Is Benny 13

棺材里的那个家伙 14

本尼在哪儿 14

Does He Bite 15

I Don't Want to Be the First One 15

它咬人吗 16

我不想当第一 16

The Thinker 17

Watching TV 17

Mother and Son 17

思想者 18

看电视 18

母与子 18

Why Not Divorce from Daddy 19

Mother and Daughter 19

为什么不和爸爸离婚 20

母与女 20

I'm First Out 21

The Embarrassed Magician 21

An Interesting Pupil 21

我第一个出去 22

尴尬的魔术师 22

有趣儿的小学生 22

The Result of Laziness 23

No Use 23

I Will Be Ill Tomorrow 23

懒惰的结果 24

没用 24

明天我要生病 24

Please Complain 25

Good Advice 25

请抱怨 26

好主意 26

The Price Tag 27

Give and Take 27

价码牌 28

给和拿 28

He Won 29

I Can't Spell It 29

他赢了 30

我不会拼写 30

Without Teeth 31

No Damage Is Done 31

没牙 32

没打坏什么东西 32

Give Your Seat 33

Only with a Different Head 33

让座 34

只是头不一样 34

He's Just Been to the Zoo 35

One Phone 35

他刚去过动物园 36

只有一个电话 36

Learn Too Much History 37

Can His Football Come to Play 37

要学习太多的历史 38

他的足球能出来玩一会吗 38

Play Outside 39

To Find a New Doctor 39

到外边去玩 40

换个医生 40

Hospitality 41

He Was Hitted 41

好客 42

挨揍 42

A Baby Sister 43

A Coward 43

小妹妹 44

胆小的人 44

Give Away 45

Two Baths 45

泄密 46

两次澡 46

Not a Good Cook 47

I Taught the Teacher 47

Pain-Killers 47

不是好厨师 48

我教老师 48

止痛药 48

Gum and Feet 51

An Exam and Deceit 51

校园篇 51

口香糖和双脚 52

考试与欺骗 52

I Hope So Too 53

The Dog Graduated 53

Who Isn't Here 53

我也希望如此 54

那只狗毕业了 54

谁没来 54

Two Women Make One Thousand Ducks 55

Animal with Four Legs 55

两个女人就顶一千只鸭子 56

四条腿的动物 56

The Silly Teacher 57

Big Hands 57

It's Sunda yTomorrow 57

愚蠢的老师 58

一双大手 58

明天是星期天 58

You Do It 59

Who Is a Dumh-bell 59

你来叫醒他 60

谁是笨蛋 60

A Bad Tooth 61

Parent and Teacher 61

牙痛 62

家长和教师 62

Beer 63

Who Is an Idiot 63

Two Pronouns 63

啤酒 64

谁是白痴 64

两个代词 64

Neither Did I 65

He Knows the Answer 65

The Dean'sWords 65

我也没及格 66

他知道答案 66

院长的话 66

HeDoesn'tlike His Teacher 67

Nobody's Perfect 67

Five Minus One 67

他不喜欢老师 68

没有十全十美的人 68

五减一 68

The Reason ofBeing Late 69

Mixed Doubles 69

An Absolute Zero 69

迟到的原因 70

混合双打 70

零分 70

The Biggest in the World 71

Improvement 71

世界上最大的 72

进步 72

Two Birds 73

Who Discovered Australia 73

两只鸟 74

谁发现了澳大利亚 74

Nouns 75

Two Cows 75

Typing 75

名词 76

两头奶牛 76

打字 76

He Can't Read It 77

Correct 77

他看不懂 78

很对 78

Writing a Composition 79

Guessing a Riddle 79

写作文 80

猜谜 80

Copy 81

Answer Back 81

I Know 81

抄袭 82

还口 82

我知道 82

Jenny's Choice 83

Someone Is Going to Get aReal Walloping 83

詹妮的选择 84

有人会挨一顿狠揍的 84

The Composition Class 85

The Common Practice 85

作文课 86

惯例 86

An Abstract Noun 87

Please Tell Me 87

抽象名词 88

请告诉我 88

Too Much Homework 89

An Orphan 89

She Doesn't Like Reading 89

作业太多 90

一名孤儿 90

她不喜欢看书 90

History Repeated Itself 91

The Future Tense 91

The Student Know Nothing 91

历史再现 92

将来时 92

学生们一无所知 92

Latin 93

Frank's Answer 93

Is He a Good Student 93

拉丁语 94

弗兰克的回答 94

他是个好学生吗 94

A Perfect Record 95

I Know 95

完美的纪录 96

我知道 96

I Don't Feel Like Getting into an Argument 97

Prepare Yourself 97

我不想争论 98

自己做好准备 98

Right Answer 99

YouDon't Know My Father 99

是正确答案吗 100

你不了解我父亲 100

Is Billy a Good Boy 101

贝利是个好孩子吗 102

My Son Is Home 105

Innermost Pear 105

家庭篇 105

儿子回家了 106

内心深处的恐惧 106

Where Is She 107

Bring Me a Glass ofMilk 107

她在哪儿 108

捎杯牛奶 108

A Poor Man 109

I'm Still Counting 109

一位可怜的男人 110

我还在数呢 110

A Clever Woman 111

Respectable Boyfriend 111

聪明的女人 112

体面的男友 112

You Are Far above Average 113

Is He an Author 113

She'd Rather Buy a Gift 113

你大大超过平均值 114

他是作家吗 114

她宁愿买一件礼物 114

Cat and Baby 115

It's Not My Fault 115

猫和宝宝 116

这不是我的过错 116

Letters from Sons 117

A Machine-gun 117

Quits 117

儿子来信 118

一挺机关枪 118

截住 118

He Is Welcome 119

I Thought It Was Mine 119

欢迎他来 120

我以为是我的手 120

The Top Part 121

No Wonder 121

上半部分 122

难怪 122

The Crowd 123

Johnny Knew 123

一群人 124

约翰尼知道 124

Thank Goodness 125

I'm Your Wife 125

谢天谢地 126

我是你的妻子 126

To Learn French 127

Who Is the Laziest 127

学法语 128

谁最懒 128

To Scare Them 129

She Ate All My Bait 129

吓吓他们 130

她把所有的诱饵都吃了 130

I Caught Every Step 131

A Dog's Life 131

我一级也没漏 132

狗一样的生活 132

A Compliment 133

The postage 133

恭维话 134

邮票 134

A Definition 135

Comparison 135

定义 136

比较 136

Just Like a Native 137

Politeness 137

就像一个本地人 138

礼貌 138

Bedtime Prayers 139

My Daughter'sVoice Is Improving 139

睡前祷告词 140

我女儿的嗓音在提高 140

The Father and His Son 141

Is Ink So Expensive 141

父与子 142

墨水很贵吗 142

Relative by Marriage 143

Why Is He under the Bed 143

婆家的亲戚 144

他为什么在床下 144

I'm All Right 145

Whom Does the Baby Look Like 145

我没事 146

孩子到底像谁 146

Come from Heaven 147

Cheering Grandfather up 147

Who Killed Her Husband 147

从天堂来 148

使爷爷高兴 148

谁杀死了她丈夫 148

The Broken Vase 149

The Couldn't Have One 149

Feet and Shoes 149

被打碎的花瓶 150

不许吃的馅饼 150

脚与鞋 150

Instead of Speaking 151

He Is Too Old 151

代替说话 152

他太老了 152

Who Is the Head of the House 153

I Had to Change It Twice 153

谁是一家之主 154

换两次 154

You Must Marry Him 155

Who's the Writer 155

你必须嫁给他 156

谁是作家 156

Is Jack Henpecked 157

How about the Kitchen 157

杰克怕老婆吗 158

去厨房怎么样 158

He Hooked None 159

Sixteen Kids 159

他什么也没钓着 160

16个孩子 160

I've Gone Wrong 161

Try to Hit Something Cheap 161

我错了 162

尽力撞便宜的东西 162

I Knocked His Teeth Out 163

Mashed Potatoes 163

Is It True 163

我把他的牙敲掉了 164

土豆泥 164

是真的吗 164

You'll Live to Be Eighty 167

Twenty Dollars for Puling a Tooth 167

医院、公司、商场 167

你会活到80岁 168

拔一颗牙收费20美元 168

Finger 169

I Can Do Nothing 169

手指 170

我无能为力 170

Statistics 171

Why Is He Howling 171

统计 172

他为什么嚎叫 172

Is He Dying 173

I Can't Sleep 173

他就要死了吗 174

我睡不着 174

Three Surgeons 175

You Need Glasses 175

三个外科医生 176

你需要配眼镜 176

I Am Right 177

A Stubborn Horse 177

我是正确的 178

倔强的马 178

Time Warp 179

Reducing 179

Lost Memory 179

时间的偏差 180

减肥 180

失忆 180

Good Advice 181

How Do You Feel Now 181

忠告 182

你现在的感觉如何 182

An Interesting Doctor 183

He Is Dying 183

Don't Lift It 183

有趣的医生 184

他就要死了 184

不要举起来 184

Make a List 185

The Doctor's Advice 185

列名单 186

医生的忠告 186

It's Not a Cap 187

I'm Not Fussy 187

Pay For the Bill 187

那不是帽子 188

我不挑剔 188

付治疗费 188

Last Raise 189

Life after Death 189

上一次晋升 190

死后再生 190

Qualified 191

A Clever Answer 191

胜任 192

聪明的回答 192

How Do You Know Your Computer Is Male 193

The Clerk Grows a Beard 193

怎么知道你的计算机是男性 194

职员留胡子 194

They Were Business Calls 195

Beginner's High Salary 195

它们是生意上的电话 196

初来者的高薪水 196

What Should He Do 197

Visitors'Parking 197

他该干什么 198

来宾停车位 198

Haven't Done Anything 199

Are Those Flowers Nice 199

没干什么 200

那些花漂亮吗 200

Would That Be Satisfactory 201

A Clever Employee 201

这样满意吗 202

聪明的雇员 202

Christmas Cards 203

The Customer Is Always Right 203

圣诞卡片 204

顾客永远正确 204

Way of Inducing 205

Do Shopping Early 205

招客有方 206

采购过早 206

He Is Not Afraid of Death 209

On the Bus 209

交通篇 209

他不怕死 210

在汽车上 210

Help Me off the Train 211

It's My Turn 211

帮我下火车 212

该轮到我了 212

Special Sandwiches 213

I'm the Driver 213

特殊的三明治 214

我是司机 214

Where's My Trailer 215

A New Car 215

我的拖车呢 216

一辆新汽车 216

In the Crowded Bus 217

Couldn't Slow Down 217

Forty-five 217

在拥挤的公共汽车上 218

没法减速 218

四十五 218

It's Not That 219

You Should Know 219

并非如此 220

你应该清楚 220

I'll Walk 221

To Save the Trouble 221

我走着去 222

省事 222

A Round Ticket 223

You Might Be as Lucky as That Man 223

一张往返车票 224

没准你会和他一样幸运 224

The Judge Who Had a Squint 225

To Get Home before an Accident 225

斜眼法官 226

在出事前赶回家 226

I'm Not Daft 227

Flying Too Low 227

我不傻 228

飞得太低了 228

Lunch and Belts 229

A Woman Motorist 229

午饭和安全带 230

一位驾驶汽车的妇女 230

Ring Me One of the Winners 233

An Interesting Man 233

社会交往篇 233

给我拿一只获胜的来 234

一位有趣儿的男人 234

Is He Better 235

A Forgetful Professor 235

An Interesting Answer 235

他好多了吗 236

健忘的教授 236

趣答 236

It's Your Wrist Watch 237

Are You Fishing Now 237

Who Is a Fool 237

那是你的手表 238

在钓鱼吗 238

谁是傻瓜 238

She Is Too Fat 239

An Interesting Waitress 239

A Timid Hunter 239

一个顶俩 240

有趣儿的女服务员 240

胆怯的猎人 240

Three Dollars for Two Pigs 241

Her Name Is Ada 241

A Clever Robber 241

两头猪3美元 242

她叫艾达 242

聪明的强盗 242

Asking the Way 243

A Woman Who Fell 243

问路 244

摔倒的女人 244

Good News and Bad News 245

Two Cross-eyed Men 245

好消息和坏消息 246

两个斜眼的人 246

The Dances Are Short 247

What Does Mr．Johnson Want to Borrow 247

舞曲很短 248

巧借网球拍 248

Ten Pounds 249

Theme 249

10英镑 250

题目 250

Is He Dying 251

I Don't Know 251

他快死了吗 252

不知道 252

In the Library 253

Foolish Questions 253

在图书馆里 254

愚蠢的问题 254

Only Saw One 255

A Miracle 255

奇迹 256

只看见一个 256

In Trouble 257

We Didn't Meet Any 257

尴尬 258

一只也没碰到 258

Believed Him 259

Keepin One Place 259

相信 260

放在一起 260

Throw Him a Bit 261

I Couldn't See Much 261

扔它一点 262

我没看到多少 262

Go Home for Pyjamas 263

Each Other 263

回家去拿睡衣 264

互相像 264

Is Mrs Jones Clever 265

I'm Not Interested 265

琼斯夫人聪明吗 266

我不感兴趣 266

What Do You Mean 267

Modern Art 267

你这是什么意思 268

现代艺术 268

Barking Dogs Don't Bite 269

The Twins 269

叫狗不咬人 270

双胞胎 270

Push the Bell with Your Elbow 271

How Much Is the Plane Fare 271

用你的胳膊肘按门铃 272

飞机票价是多少 272

Wings 275

One Side ofthe Case 275

其他 275

翅膀 276

一面之辞 276

The Story of a Snail 277

The Ability ofthe Kangaroo 277

蜗牛的故事 278

袋鼠的能力 278

Scores 279

Hair Transplant 279

得分 280

移植头发 280

Rope or Ox 281

TheyAreOnlyPlayingforPeanuts 281

绳子还是公牛 282

他们只是赌花生而已 282

The Reply Letter of the Department of Agriculture 283

农业部的回信 284

The Effect ofAdvertisement 285

广告的效果 286

I Had to Take My Coat off 287

我不得不脱了衣服干 288

We Left Nothing 289

The Cartoon 289

我们什么也没留下 290

漫画 290

Disconcerting 291

尴尬 292

Effect of Soap 293

Repair the Doorbell 293

肥皀的效力 294

修门铃 294

Does She Agree 295

A Cunning Newsboy 295

It Bothers My Wife 295

她同意吗 296

狡猾的报童 296

它打扰了我妻子 296

Handsome 297

I Have a Bike with Me 297

What Do You Need 297

够味 298

我骑自行车来的 298

您需要什么 298

She Knew Him Now 299

What Is Happiness 299

她知道他是谁了 300

什么是幸福 300

Wel-mannerde 301

The Loss Outweighs the Gain 301

非常有礼貌 302

得不偿失 302

Chasing the Hat 303

What to Do with the Other Leg 303

追赶帽子 304

另一条腿怎么办 304

The Brave Fireman 305

Mixed up 305

勇敢的消防队员 306

搞混了 306

A Grandfather Clock 307

Providence Cares for Everyone 307

一只旧挂钟 308

上帝关心每一个人 308

Contradicting Each Other 309

Free of Charge 309

互相反驳 310

免费 310

Why Are You Crying 311

你为什么哭 312

You Look Perfectly Fit to Me 313

我看你还很健壮嘛 314

Two Skulls 315

I'm Not Swimming 315

两颗头盖骨 316

我不是游泳 316

To Throw a Rock 317

To Be Continued 317

扔石头 318

待续 318

The Monkey 319

猴子 320

Miss English Cowhide 321

An Interesting General 321

英国牛皮女士 322

有趣儿的将军 322

Got a Match 323

有火柴吗 324