幽默英文阅读测验 第2版PDF电子书下载

1．The Laundryman 1

2．A Newly Rich Lady 2

3．A Gentleman And A Lady 3

4．Train Sickness 6

5．Only Fools Are Certain 8

6．Your Car Rolled By An Hour Ago 9

7．An Appointment In Hell 11

8．I Must Have Smoked My Key 13

9．The Climate Didn't Agree With Me 14

10．Wnere's Your Sense Of Humor? 15

11．I'm Not A Gypsy 16

12．You Are Right Here 18

13．You Could Give Me A Raise 19

14．I Am Cold 20

15．You Are Not Drinking Enough Water 22

16．What Happened To The Man Who Didn't Drink,Smoke Or Gamble? 23

17．Are You Coming Back? 25

18．I Hope She Isn't Shopping 26

19．Nobody Ever Died Of Seasickness 27

20．My Husband Doesn't Smoke 28

21．I Think I'm Catching A Cold 30

22．Would You Write I t Down? 31

23．Why Don't You Wear A Watch Like Everybody Else? 33

24．Why Should You Go To School? 34

25．What Do You Put In Your Garden First? 35

26．The Wife Knew How To Save Money 40

27．Why Not Take Grandpa Too? 41

28．I Don't Smoke 43

29．It's The Red Cross 44

30．A Whisp Of A Girl 46

31．We Are Both Here 47

32．I Like Ours Best 49

33．I Think I Am Late 51

34．I Am Acting Like A Lady 53

36．I Am A Pickpocket 56

37．It's A Mr.And Mrs.J.Stein 57

38．I Want You To Marry Our Stockbroker 59

39．I Am Nothing 60

40．I Forgot To Thank Him 62

41．Russia Had Freedom Of Speech 63

42．I Only Came To Ask A Favor 64

43．Let Go! 66

44．I Must Still Be Safe 67

45．The Devil's Funeral 69

46．What Makes It Special? 70

47．Single? 71

48．You Haven't Killed Anyone,Have You? 72

49．I Want To Get Out 74

50．Those Who Are Bold Enough Come With Me 76

51．Where Is Your Waist? 80

52．An Iranian Refugee 83

53．The Young Couple 86

54．Hurry! 87

55．Women's Fashion 88

56．A Peking Businessman 89

57．A Palm Reader 91

58．The Woman With a Child 92

59．It Looks Natural 94

60．It's A Miracle 95

61．On A Crowded Bus 96

62．I Am Not Wanted 98

63．You Have Been Like A Daugnter To Me 99

64．You Will Get A Ringing In Your Ears 100

65．They Can't Put You In Jail For That 104

66．We Are Halfway There 105

67．It's Not Me 106

68．When A Button Came Off My Fly 107

69．I Don't Like My Neighbors 109

70．Farming Was Not Easy 110

71．The Old Man Started To Cry 111

72．A Poor Deaf And Dumb Turkey 112

73．Get Those Letters Out 115

74．The Doctor's Prescription 116

75．Everybody Stopped To Ask What Had Happened 117

76．That's Your First Worry 118

77．Why Is There No Asterisk Next To My Name 119

78．A Whole Hour Without A Commercial 121

79．Adam's Apple 122

80．Sit Down 123

81．She Can't Run Around On You 128

82．There Might Be Something To That Rumor 129

83．My Shop Was Robbed 131

84．You Should See Her Pictures 132

85．It Is Safe 134

86．Promise Yourself Something 135

87．This Is A Stick Up 136

88．The Florist's Mistakes 138

89．And That Took An Hour? 139

90．No Parking 9 A.M.To 6P.M. 140

91．He Had A Hat 142

92．I Thought You Were Out 144

93．Nothing To It 145

94．If You Weren't President,I'd Be Buying Stock 146

95．How Do You Know You'll Find Oil? 148

96．How Can You Call It Fun? 149

97．You Have To Dial Information 150

98．A Little Bird 151

99．You Are A Stupid Idiot 153

100．I'm Writing My Doctor's Thesis 156

101．Who Was That? 157

102．I Have A Cleaning Lady 158

103．Your Age 160

104．I Thought You Were A Bird 161

105．The Painters Are Coming 163

106．Anybody Loses A Half-dollar? 164

107．Why Do You Look So Grim? 165

108．Why Didn't I Think Of That? 167

109．How Long Are Your Legs? 168

110．The River Is Frozen Over 171

111．You Didn't Make The Carrot Suffer Enough 172

112．I'd Like A Good Obstetrician 174

113．August Is Worse Than That 175

114．You Are In The Back Seat 177

115．He Went Bankrupt Twice 178

116．You're The First One Who Explained It 179

117．Where Can I Get Pushed To The Subway 181

118．This Is The First Time I Got All The Details 182

119．A Psychology Teacher 184

120．I Think I'd Rather Have Cash 185

121．I'll Have A Dry Martinus 187

122．You Are A Mean Mam 188

123．He Saves The Clipping 189

124．How Many Customers Did You Have? 191

125．You Have My Seat 191

126．Distraction 193

127．A Real Alligator Handbag 194

128．The Three Etc's 195

129．You're Not Leaving A Vaccancy 197

130．You Fire Her 198

131．Why Do You Sell It Now? 199

132．I'll Show You The Cancellation 200

133．Going Out Of Business 202

134．Nobody Wants To Talk To Me 203

135．No More Papers After The Thirtieth 204

136．Shut Off The Meter 205

137．Let Us Have A Clear Look 206

138．A Self-Addressed Letter 210

139．The Light Of The Wicked Shall Be Put Out 211

140．Cats Don't Like It 213

141．He Just Giggled A Little 215

142．Free Enterprise 216

143．An Arab 217

144．He Went To The John Three Times 219

145．It's Easy For You To Talk 220

146．Let That Be A Lesson To You 221

147．A Clever Son 222

148．The Shoes Are Not Comfortable 224

149．He Is To Have No Special Privileges 225

151．How Can You Just Sit There? 226

150．If Only He Wasn't A Lawyer 226

152．What Can We Do For You? 229

153．No Wonder They Are Driving On The Sidewalk 230

154．A Good Day To You,Policeman 231

155．I Think I'll Sell 233

156．I Am The Maid 235

157．You Can Walk Through It 237

158．This Is As Far As I Go 239

159．The Minister 241

160．This Isn't My Table 243

161．How Do They Expect To Get A Coffin Into This Place? 244

162．You Will Enjoy It 246

163．I Am On My Honey Moon 247

164．Somebody Might Visit Me 249

165．A Riddle 250

166．The Eggs Have Been Very Good 252

167．Nobody Is Talking To You 254

168．Your Guava Must Be As Big As A Basketball 256

169．Why Don't We Change Into Hunters? 259

170．Shaw Refuses To Attend A Wedding 264

171．I Will Pay You 267