CONTENTS 2
1．The Friend’s Suitcase 2
2．A Kind-Hearted Man 2
3．Keep an Eye on Me 4
4．Mind Your Ice-Cream 4
5．A Marvellous Place to Drive 4
6．A Space to Park the Car 4
7．He Owes You ￡50 6
8．A Special Announcement 6
9．To Be Born There 6
10．No Need to Hurry 6
11．Change at Edinburgh 8
12．The Same Number 8
13．Turn the Metre Off 10
14．AMessage of a Gent 10
15．I Hit You Right 10
17．Please Make It One Hundred 12
16．Room for Three Inside 12
18．Don’t Do It Again 14
19．Running the Wrong Direction 14
20．How We’ve Missed You 14
21．At the Lost Property Office 16
22．I’m Only 13 16
23．She Wasn’t When We Got On 16
25．Pay-As-You-Leave 18
26．There’s No Hurry 18
24．QuickWit 18
27．The Dog and the Seat 20
28．They Came to See Me Off 20
29．Is It Wembley 20
30．Making Pretence 22
31．Cough into the Tyres 22
32．Good Lord！Stop！ 24
33．Not Lending It to You 24
34．You’ve Drowned My Lad 24
36．That’s Just the Trouble 26
37．See You Miles Away 26
35．Map of London 26
38．The Use of Timetables 28
39．Can’t You Go Faster？ 28
40．Hold onto the Rail for Me 28
41．How Much Do I Owe You？ 30
42．Different Times 30
43．Giving Evidence 30
44．The Strangest People 32
47．Turkey Sandwich 34
45．Speak Our Mother Tongue 34
46．Both 34
48．At a Cheap Place 36
49．One Lamb Chop 36
50．No Money to Pay the Bill 36
51．Wait for Your Turn 38
52．Asking for an Umbrella 38
54．Language Trouble 40
55．With Royal Permission 40
53．Self Service 40
56．A More Appropriate Wording 42
57．The Soup 42
58．What Does It Matter？ 44
59．Getting the Proper Use of It 44
60．Contradiction 44
61．For Motorists Only 46
62．With Free Colour TV 46
63．Mr and Mrs Genuine Cowhide 46
64．Father and Son 48
65．Caught in the Same Trap 50
66．The Door Opened at Night 50
67．The Fly and the Nail 52
68．No Fee 54
69．A Good Lesson 56
70．Isn’t It Wonderful 58
71．Too Late 58
72．Medicine to Cure a Headache 58
73．Haven’t I Met You Before？ 60
76．Kings Are Scarce 62
74．Hardly So 62
75．The Queen in Progress 62
77．Why Nobleman？ 64
78．Apologizing 64
79．An Untold Tragedy 66
80．What to Talk about 66
81．A Warning Sign 66
82．The Differences 68
83．A Dog for Sale 68
84．A Valuable Old Master 70
85．Who Laugh More 72
86．Near Our Money 72
87．Attentive to Duty 74
88．Extolling 74
89．That’s Nothing 74
90．At Poets’Corner 76
92．Playing a Guitar 78
93．Nearer My Son 78
91．Pouring with Rain 78
94．Just Babies 80
95．Definition of Twins 80
96．Where to Do Their Jobs 80
97．Great Expectation 82
98．That’s Quite All Right 82
99．A Very Serious Crime 84
100．To Keep Elephants Away 84
102．Perfectly Calm 86
101．Talking Him Out 86
103．A Sure Sign of Death 88
104．30 Years to Learn How 88
105．What’s Your Desirc？ 88
106．That’s Only a Mirror 90
107．Nobody Leave the Room 90
108．Putting a Statue 90
109．A Good Suggestion 92
110．A Job 92
112．Necessary Resolutions 94
111．BothJumped 94
113．A Waterproof Coat 96
114．What Am I Afraid of？ 96
115．A Grand Experience 96
116．That’s the Lift 98
117．Dogs Must Be Carried 98
118．Wonderment 100
119．A Letter from Home 100
121．Three Men’s Outfitters 102
120．I’m Now in Palace 102
122．A Rare Pistol 104
123．Why Not Get a Job 104
124．Lord Moneybag’s Income 106
125．Help，Help 106
126．How Sorry Are You？ 106
127．Used to Be Like You 108
128．Deafand Dumb 108
130．Finding Way in Fog 110
129．Tax-Collecting Skill 110
131．Dream and Reality 112
132．The Least Reward 114
133．A Big Hoax 116
134．It’s Only 1978 Now 118
135．Your Suicide’s Turned Up 118
136．I’m Off 118
137．Chloroform 120
138．There’s More Light Here 120
141．Holes for the Cats 122
139．Looking for a Name 122
140．Use a Pencil First 122
142．She Must Be Hollow 124
143．Pressing the Door Bell 124
144．The Parrot’s Trick 126
145．Try Not to Slam Them 126
146．Getting the Sheep In 128
147．Going to a Lecture 128
148．I’ve Only Just Got Here 130
149．Do as I Do 130
150．Asking for a Repeat 132
152．Blood Only 134
153．Parochialism 134
151 The Very Same Story 134
154．Refusing to Be Impressed 136
155．You May Pay Double 136
156．Take 2 Chairs Then 136
157．Pestering 138
158．He’s the Zero 140
159．He Did Die 140
160．Love when Mad 140
161．Any Worse Dancer than Me 140
162．How about Tomorrow 140
163．Mother and“Daughter” 142
164．Retribution 142
165．Cook as Taught to 142
167．A Birthday Present 144
168．Save the Whole Lot 144
166．Wait Just 5 Minutes 144
169．Curing the Amnesia 146
170．Posting a Letter 148
171．All’s in My Wife’s Name 148
172．No Exaggerating 148
173．After a Short Drinking 150
174．If Anything Happened 150
175．Grandmother’s Hair 150
178．To Ministry of Pension 152
179．The Salutes 152
177．A Great Place for the Family 152
176．Don’t Want Him to Hear Her 152
180．The Early Bird Catches the Worm 154
181．Asking for a Recipe 154
182．I Dared Him to Come 154
183．The Perfect Parliamentary Answer 156
184．Well Irrigated 156
185．More than an Art 156
187．Not Counting the Years 158
188．Answering Roll Call 158
186．Victor Hugo’s Question Mark 158
189．Nationality 160
190．A Loose-Leaf History Book 160
191．Disarmament 160
192．A Trap 160
193．Butter like the Last 162
194．The Importance of One Letter 162
195．School—Slow 164
196．Researching Work 164
197．She Didn’t Help Me 164
198．I Could 166
199．You Put Him to Sleep 166
200．A Synonym 166
201．Emotional Explanation 166
204．About Milton 168
205．The Elephant’s Baby 168
206．False Teeth 168
202．None 168
203．All Dead 168
207．The Chief Product of Cuba 170
208．The Shape ofthe Earth 170
209．An Example 170
210．Four minus One 170
211．Four minus Four 170
214．Black Hens and White Hens 172
215．Asking for a Sick Leave 172
213．The Difference 172
212．A Boxer’s Motto 172
216．A Stolen Poem 174
217．A Well-known Saying 174
218．It’s the Answers 176
219．The Last Question 176
220．To Have Something Right 176
221．A History Exam 176
222．Greeting Each Other 178
223．All Work for Nothing 178
224．Brief Letters 178
227．A Proverb 180
225．Asking for Money 180
226．Great Achievement 180
228．A Worthy Learner of Languages 182
229．A Skin Doctor 182
230．Final Exam Paper 182
231．A Man of Actions 186
232．Oxford Men and Cambridge Men 186
233．An Enigmatical Motto 186
234．Convincing 188
237．An Orator Making His Point 190
235．No Trouble at All 190
236．A Brilliant Linguist 190
238．Nothing in between the Ears 192
239．A Bare-foot Doctor 194
240．Fetching Medicine 194
241．To Have a Bad Tooth Filled 196
242．To Give Up Smoking 196
243．Gaining Weight 196
246．Who’s Peeping at Your Letter？ 198
245．Is the Ball Very Expensive？ 198
244．￡8，000 a Year 198
247．A Christmas Psesent 200
248．An Uncomfortable Seat 200
249．A Mixed Infant 202
250．To Watch It Ache 202
251．God Save the Queen 202
255．All Right for the Zoo？ 204
254．One Way Only 204
253．60 at Least 204
252．Pair of Socks 204
256．Mind Your Own Business 206
257．The Quickest Way 206
258．Keep It in the House 206
259．Waiting to Be Served 208
260．On Board Nelson’s“Victory” 208
261．Natives of Australia 208
265．Pay Pounds for the Ounces 210
264．Only My Knittings 210
263．The Better Half 210
262．Visiting the Statcly Homes 210
266．A Handkerchief 212
267．How Wealthy 212
268．The Doctor Says 212
269．The Wife’s Worr 214
270．A Treasure Book 214
271．How about the Ladies 214
275．What Happens to Liars 216
277．The Telephone Girl 216
276．She’s Married 216
273．A Hair-Raising Story 216
274．Is He Rich 216
272．Beer！ 216
278．Into One’s Eye 218
279．Why You Talked like That 218
280．The Office Boy Did 218
285．Losing One’s Head 220
284．How to Get the Paint Off 220
282．The Lion Trainer’s Income 220
283．To Drink from Bottles 220
281．In a Corn Field 220
286．I Cannot Face Them 222
287．Reading the Daily News 222
288．He Laid Down His Arms 222
289．Trying Not to 222
293．Sticking the Stamp On 224
292．In My Pyjamas 224
291．What Country？ 224
290．Take a Stool with You 224
294．At a Music Shop 226
295．What’s a Female Sheep？ 226
296．Pepper 228
297．In Hawaii 228
298．Some Ice 228
299．Which Won？ 230
300．Tommy’s Learning to Smoke 230