经典幽默故事选粹PDF电子书下载

童心快语 3

Want to Trade？(咱们换换吧？) 3

Go Through Red Lights(闯红灯) 4

A Small Boy and a Donkey(小男孩与驴子) 5

Treat(款待) 5

First Day of School(上学第一天) 7

Good News and Bad News(好消息与坏消息) 8

Pajamas(睡衣) 9

Anything(什么都行) 10

Personal Hero(心目中的英雄) 11

Singing Autography(签名) 11

Keep the Change(不用找了) 13

Driving Test(驾驶考试) 14

What s the Matter？(怎么啦？) 14

Girl s Name(女孩的名字) 15

The Toast Is Burned(面包烤焦了) 16

Contest(评选) 17

Johnny Saved a Boy(约翰尼勇救落水儿童) 18

Be？ime Prayers(睡前祷告词) 19

That s Why(原来如此) 20

I m Glad(我很高兴) 21

I Don t Feel Like Getting into an Argument(我不想争论) 22

4-4=？(四减四等于几？) 23

This Isn t My List(这不是我列的单子) 24

Does Anyone Want a Nice Clean Plate？(有人要干净盘子吗？) 25

Hair and Beard(头发与胡子) 26

A Problem in Arithmetic(一个数学问题) 27

Unneecssary(多此一举) 29

Lucky Mother(幸运的母亲) 30

Clever Boy(聪明的男孩) 32

A Little Boy Called Johnny(一个男孩名叫约翰尼) 33

A Good Boy(好孩子) 35

A Contest of Lying(赛说谎) 36

Father s Things(父亲的东西) 37

On Miracle(论奇迹) 39

My Daddy Said IT(我爸说的) 40

Eacts of Life(生命知识) 41

A Baby Sister(小妹妹) 42

A Silly Rabbit(愚蠢的兔子) 43

Imitation(模仿) 44

Who Should Be Given the Gift(礼物该给谁) 45

Like My Father s(跟父亲的一样) 45

They Don t Have a Union(他们没有工会) 47

He Hit Me(他打我) 47

To Stop Two Boys from Fighting(制止两个男孩打架) 49

A Telephone Call(一个电话) 50

Privacy(隐私) 52

Persistent(缠住不放) 53

Laugh or Cry(啼笑皆非) 53

A Capable Mother(能干的母亲) 54

I m Trying to Stop IT(我要把它堵在里面) 56

I Didn t Notice It(我没看到它) 56

Two Pounds of Plums(两磅李子) 57

I Taught the Teacher(我教老师) 57

校园喜剧 61

Flunking Math(数学没及格) 61

Wrong Places(地方不对) 62

No Way(没门儿) 63

Promotion(提升) 64

Who Is This？(你是哪一个？) 65

Prepare Youreslf(自己做好准备) 66

Plagiarism(抄袭) 66

One Point(一分之差) 67

Not Too Late(不是太迟) 68

New Year Resolution(新年决心书) 69

Part-time Job(业余工作) 70

Auswers Will Vary(可有多种答案) 71

Wrong Number(打错了) 71

Hobbies(业余爱好) 73

How Much Do I Owe You？(我欠你多少钱？) 74

Virtue(美德) 74

Ground Rules(基本原则) 75

What Did You Do Today？(你今天干什么了？) 76

Warning(提醒) 77

Snake in Class(课堂上的蛇) 78

Real Play(逼真的戏剧) 79

Difference(区别) 80

Gift of Valentine s Day(情人节礼物) 80

He Was Only Wrong by Two(他的得数只比正确答案多二) 81

“Gone To Heaven”(“上天堂了”) 83

Class and Ass(班和笨驴) 84

Napoleon Was Ill(拿破仑病了) 84

Clear Evidence(证据确凿) 86

Who Is George Washington？(谁是乔治·华盛顿？) 87

An Unexpected Answer(出人意料的答案) 89

Keys？Kiss？(钥匙还是接吻？) 90

Trusting Only Myself(唯我可信) 92

Whose Bones？(谁的骨头？) 93

In the Directory(都在电话簿里) 94

That s Easy(那有何难) 95

A Carrot and a Half(一个半胡萝卜) 96

出门在外 101

New Discovery(新发现) 101

A Bad Impression(一个坏印象) 102

He Understands!(他懂了!) 103

A City Man and a Mountain Man(城里人与山里人) 104

An Episode in the Train(旅途小插曲) 106

A Cow or a Horse(牛乎？马乎？) 108

Poor Memory(记性太差) 109

My First and My Last(第一次与最后一次) 110

She Went Too Far(她走过了头) 111

Where Am I？(我这是在哪儿？) 112

Not a Crime but a Miracle(不是犯罪而是奇迹) 114

A Good Solution(解决问题的好办法) 115

Chaude and Cold(热与冷) 116

A Soldier s Brilliant Idea(士兵的高招儿) 117

A Nail or a Fly？(是钉子还是苍蝇？) 119

Honeymooners(蜜月新人) 120

Whose Dog？(谁的狗？) 122

A Chimpanzee and a Norwegian(黑猩猩与挪威人) 123

The Gain of One Thing Means the Loss of the Other(顾此失彼) 125

First Flight(第一次坐飞机) 126

Don t You Like Any of Our Colours Today？(没有您喜欢的颜色吗？) 128

Asking the Way(问路) 129

A Mistake in a Rush(忙中出错) 130

Lesson Drawn from My Experience(前车之鉴) 131

Misunderstanding(误解) 132

The Careless Personnel(粗心的工作人员) 133

I ll See to the Rest(其余的事我负责) 134

You Can Come Down(您可以下来了) 135

When the Leaves Are Gone(树叶没了之后) 136

Need One Ticket(要一张票) 137

What Are They Waiting for？(他们在等什么？) 138

A Flat Tire(爆胎) 139

吾爱吾家 143

Nightmare(恶梦) 143

About Your Height(和你身高差不多) 143

The Day Off from Work(丈夫的休息日) 144

Collectibles(收藏品) 145

Stupid(愚蠢) 146

In a Coffee Shop(咖啡馆里) 147

I Don t Know Her(我还不认识她) 148

Historical(死记历史) 148

Christmas Tree(圣诞树) 149

Who s Calling？(谁的电话？) 150

A Trip to Hawaii(夏威夷之旅) 151

The Bridges of Madison County(廊桥遗梦) 151

Premise(前提条件) 152

Big Boss(大老板) 153

Put That Ring Back On!(把戒指戴回去!) 154

Old Couple(老夫老妻) 155

Growing Old Together(白头偕老) 156

Eye Exam(眼科检查) 157

Present for Girlfriend(送给女友的礼物) 158

Strange Behavior(奇怪的行为) 158

Disagreement(意见不和) 159

I Have Them All(我都有了) 160

Saint(圣人) 161

Return from Honeymoon(蜜月归来) 162

Wood Fire(森林之火) 163

Poster(海报) 164

Empty Seats(空座) 164

Gardening Gloves(园艺手套) 165

Most Expensive Thing(最贵重的东西) 166

God s Gift(上帝的礼物) 167

Special Trip(特殊旅行) 168

S.O.B.(狗娘养的) 169

Delayed Good-night(迟到的晚安) 170

When a Child Is Born(孩子诞生了) 171

A Trip to Disney(迪斯尼之旅) 172

Sir George(乔治爵士) 173

All Right(没关系) 173

Want a Beer？(想要啤酒吗？) 174

Four More Years(再来四年) 175

Twin Lobsters(孪生龙虾) 176

Got You(可逮着你了) 177

Millionaire(百万富翁) 178

Mother s Warning(母亲的警告) 179

Time to Date(约会时节) 180

Butler s story(男仆的故事) 181

Cheaper(便宜) 182

Respectable Boyfriend(体面的男友) 183

Thanksgiving Dinner(感恩晚宴) 183

He s Mine!(他是我的!) 184

A Way to Make Money(生财有道) 185

A Simple Reason(原因很简单) 186

For the Sake of Distinction(以示区别) 187

Difficult Husbands(丈夫难伺侯) 189

Don t Worry about Being Late(不用担心迟到) 190

Ancestry(祖先) 191

This Is Betty!(我是贝蒂!) 192

Strange(奇怪) 193

A Fine Match(势均力敌) 194

I m Cheering the Clock On(为钟表鼓劲儿) 195

The Glamour of Advertisement(广告的魅力) 196

Beyond Tolerance(难以忍受) 198

Sometimes It s Mine(有时是我的) 200

A Lucky Customer(幸运的顾客) 201

A Family Rule(家规) 203

Nothing On(什么都没开) 204

General Patton(巴顿将军) 205

Frozen Marble(冰冻弹子) 206

The Same Service(同样的服务) 207

Innermost Fear(内心深处的恐惧) 208

An Old Couple s Quarrel(老夫妻吵架) 208

Taming of the Shrew(驯悍有方) 209

The Bait(诱饵) 211

No Privacy!(没有隐私权!) 212

Delicious Parrot(可口的鹦鹉) 212

A Forgetful Husband(健忘的丈夫) 214

A Considerate Father(慈父) 215

A Heavy Cupboard(一只沉重的橱柜) 216

Your Son Called(你儿子来过电话) 217

A Dishwasher(洗碗机) 218

Such a Neighbour(如此邻居) 220

Our Bed(我们的床) 221

His Second Wife(他的第二个妻子) 222

Please Send Up a Soil Sample(请送一份土壤样品来) 223

Who Does the Digging？(谁来挖地？) 224

You Have a Flat Tyre(你的车胎爆了) 226

The Man who Never Puts a Foot Wrong(循规蹈矩的人) 227

I m Her Father(我是她老爸) 229

Hands off!(不许动手!) 229

Keep Him That Way(就让他那样) 230

Witty Retort(机智的反驳) 231

From Love to Hatred(爱变成仇) 232

Power(权力) 233

Father s Will(父亲的遗嘱) 234

Henpecked Husbands(妻管严) 235

Out of Expectation(始料不及) 236

Why Is She So Industrious？(她为何如此勤快？) 237

What a Pity!(太遗憾!) 238

Betty s Reply(贝蒂的回答) 239

Division of Labor(劳动分工) 240

军旅趣话 245

What s It for？(为何收钱？) 245

Cold and Lonely Nights(寒冷而孤寂的夜晚) 246

Toyota(丰田) 247

Large Uniforms(大制服) 248

Tough Sergeant(粗暴的中士) 249

Save for Emergency(留备急用) 250

Speed Limit(速度限制) 251

Run out of Gas(没有汽油了) 252

Softest Shoulder Boards(最柔软的肩章) 253

Air Force Captain and Mailman(空军上尉与邮递员) 254

West Point(西点军校) 255

Quick Reaction(快速反应) 256

None Other Than a Soldier(正是士兵) 257

That s It(原来如此) 258

Two Soldiers(两名士兵) 259

Very Pleased to Meet You(很高兴认识你) 260

Visual Training(视力训练) 262

Five Months Older(大五个月) 263

A Young Officer and an Old Soldier(青年军官与老兵) 264

Best Reward(最好的奖赏) 265

I Didn t Know That I Was So Far Back Already!(真没想到我已经往回跑了这么远!) 266

购物传奇 271

Midway Tacties(中间战术) 271

Three Whistles(三声口哨) 272

Two Dollars(两元钱) 272

A Specific Reply(具体回答) 274

How Much IS It？(多少钱？) 275

I Am Acting Like a Lady(我要表现得像位女士) 276

Early Shopper(采购过早) 277

To Congress(去国会) 278

Too Polite(太有礼貌) 279

Camera(照相机) 280

Not Interested(不感兴趣) 281

Take Good Care(好好保护) 281

Good Points and Bad Points(优缺点) 282

Wings(翅膀) 283

Conglomerate on Wheels(轮子上的联合企业) 284

CD Player(CD唱机) 285

Keep the Change(零钱不用找了) 286

工作插曲 291

Sleeping Pills(安眠药) 291

Mexican Food(墨西哥食品) 292

Repairs(修理) 293

Reminder(催单) 294

Service Charge(服务费) 295

Clarinet(单簧管) 296

Real Attorney(真正的律师) 297

Too Long(太久) 298

Exchange(交换) 299

Creative(有创造性) 300

Asking for a Raise(要求加薪) 300

Roses for My Wife(送给妻子的玫瑰) 301

How Did You Ever Get Here？(你是怎样来的？) 303

Charge for Bread and Butter(面包和黄油费) 303

Apple-shaped Pin(苹果形别针) 305

One Side of the Case(一面之辞) 305

Jury Duty(陪审义务) 306

My Brother and I(我与兄长) 307

Three Surgeons(三个外科医生) 308

Letter Carrier(邮递员的故事) 309

I Don t Know Her That Well(我跟她还没那么熟呢) 310

What Is Your Address？(你住哪儿？) 311

Fair Settlement(公平的解决方案) 312

Errors(差错) 313

Sure Glad(确实很高兴) 314

Hydrologists(水文学家) 315

Veterinarian(兽医) 316

So Precisely(如此精确) 317

Imitate Birds(模仿鸟儿) 318

Sobbing Keeper(哭泣的饲养员) 319

New Employee(新来的雇员) 319

That s All Right(没有什么) 320

New Dress(新衣报) 321

Just a Dream(只是个梦) 322

Newscast(新闻广播) 323

Court Arguments(法庭辩论) 324

No Trouble(没有麻烦) 325

Pilot(飞行员) 326

Witty Witness(机智的证人) 327

Too Good to Be True(好得难以置信) 328

Such an Interpretation(如此翻译) 329

An Important Rule(一条重要的规则) 330

A Smugglat(走私犯) 331

Save Money(省钱) 333

Double Dutch(莫名其妙) 335

Have You Ceased Beating Your Wife？(你不再打老婆了吗？) 336

Hard to Follow(追不上) 337

Effective Proof(有效证明) 338

When Business Is Suffering(生意不景气的时候) 339

Promotion Problem(晋升问题) 341

Bank on Foot(徒步去银行存钱) 342

Change Your Business(换个工作) 344

You Might Be as Lucky as That Man(没准儿你会和他一样幸运) 345

I m Not Daft(我不傻) 346

God Only Knows(天晓得) 346

How Do You Feel Now？(你现在感觉如何？) 347

Composition(作文) 348

I Can t Say Things Without Thinking(说话不加思索我可做不到) 349

A Different Kind of Audience(不同的听众) 350

It s Easier(更为方便) 351

We Have to Stand Somewhere(我们总得有个地方站着啊) 352

Good Intention Ends with Complaint(好心反遭抱怨) 353

No Problem(没问题) 354

Communication in Writing(书面交流) 355

A Letter from the Secretary(秘书的来信) 356

The Secret of Success(成功的秘诀) 357

Honesty(诚实) 358

生活空间 363

Perfect Match(绝配) 363

I Don t Hear Anything(我什么都没听见) 364

Only Once(只有一次) 365

Did You Know Him？(你认识他吗？) 365

A Piece of Mail(一份邮件) 366

Raccoons(浣熊) 367

Christmas Gift(圣诞礼物) 368

My Son Is Home(儿子回家了) 369

Good News and Bad News(好消息与坏消息) 370

Organization Plan of the Future(未来的组织机构) 371

Which Brosnan？(哪个布洛斯南？) 372

Ski Lessons(滑雪课) 373

Response Ability(答问技巧) 375

A Mistake(搞错了) 376

The World s Greatest Swordsman(世界上最伟大的击剑手) 377

The Greant Cover-up(了不得的遮羞布) 378

Risk One Eye(拿一只眼睛冒冒险) 380

Skunk(臭鼬) 381

Outside a Lingerie Store(内衣店外) 382

Small Town(小镇) 383

Youthful Appearance(显得年轻) 384

Grow Peard(蓄须) 384

Hell(地狱) 385

Stars?ck(追星族) 386

Fishenman s Tale(渔夫的故事) 387

The Third Button(第三个按钮) 389

Best Talker(巧嘴鹦鹉) 390

The Lost Jacket(丢失的茄克) 391

Scores(得分) 392

Date(约会) 392

Hint(提示) 393

A Special Salad(一道特别的沙拉) 394

A Kind Gentleman(好心的先生) 395

Double Negatives(双重否定) 396

Loophole in Law(钻法律的空子) 397

What Is Happiness？(什么是幸福？) 398

Weekend Trouble(周末的烦恼) 398

Under the Weather(醉酒) 399

One for You,One for Me(你一个，我一个) 400

A Lazy Man(懒汉) 401

Why Didn t You Go with Him？(你为什么不跟他一起去？) 403

Leg Exercises(腿部运动) 404

Ditto(同上) 405

Who Pushed Me In(谁把我推下去的) 406

I Am Wearing My Trousers(我穿着裤子) 407

Scare Me Half to Death(把我吓个半死) 409

What Did You Come to Get？(你们来运什么？) 411

Vodka in Sewer(伏特加酒倒进污水沟) 412

Football Fans(足球迷) 412

Was He Ungrateful？(他忘恩负义吗？) 413

Cultural Gap(文化差异) 414

A Barber s Joke(理发师开玩笑) 415

Shame on Him(无耻) 416

Her Ideal Boy Friend(理想的男友) 417

Never Too Old to Look Young(越活越年轻) 418

French Tact(法国女人的高招) 419

Keep It Secret(保密) 420

A Cerebral Conversation(理智的交谈) 421

Patience(耐性) 422

A Compassionate Heart(同情心) 422

Where s My Trailer？(我的拖车呢？) 423

Who Tops Them All？(谁最臭？) 424

I Had to Take My Coat Off(我不得不脱了衣服干) 425

It Isn t My Fault(不是我的错) 426

In or Out？(是进还是出？) 428

Pay by the Hour(按时计酬) 429

I Won t Let You In(拒之门外) 430

Efficient Editor(高效率的编辑) 431

Please Drive Over Her(请您从她身上开过去) 433

Suspicion(疑心病) 434

A Spoonful before Every Meal(饭前一勺) 435

Misunderstanding(误会) 437

Eollow Doctor s Instruction(遵医嘱) 438

The Bells(钟声) 439

Two Cross-eyed Men(两个斜眼的人) 441

It Was All the Dear Rector s Doing!(这都是亲爱的教区长干的!) 441

Young Lovers(年轻的恋人) 442

Why Was She Angry？(她为何生气？) 443

My Treat(我请客) 445

Help Yourself(自己来) 446

The Definition of Happiness(幸福的定义) 448

Too Much(太多了) 449

It s Not My Fault(不要怪我) 450

Don t Worry(不必担心) 452

You Are Not Right(答非所问) 453

Telling the Truth(实话实说) 454

My Wife Is Not Satisfied(妻不满意) 454

Run Counter to Desire(适得其反) 455

A Simple Reason(原来如此) 456

Senator Green s Tip(格林参议员的小费) 457

Tit for Tat(以牙还牙) 457

Trouble You Again(再次劳您大驾) 459

A Good Catch(上钩) 460

Which Way？(往哪边？) 461

Not to Be Taken Out(概不外借) 462

Fear Pays Off(害怕也值得) 463

A Dog That Can Speak(会说话的狗) 464

Do You Have Something Cheaper？(有便宜一点的吗？) 466

Fall Into a Trap(陷入圈套) 467

Nearer or Farther？(是远还是近？) 468

Time Spares No Man(岁月不饶人) 469