英语幽默精编 1PDF电子书下载

CONTENTS 1

1．To Cook Your Cabbage 1

2．Their Dumb Boss 2

3．A Very Pretty Girl 3

4．The Longest Chopsticks 4

5．Husband and Wife 5

6．The World’s First，Greatest and Wisest Financier 6

7．Roaches 7

8．A Shop-talk 8

9．Give Me the Address of the Other Girl！ 9

10．Jack and the Duck Soup 10

11．Am I All Right？ 12

12．Jack and Billy 13

13．Look at That Stupid Man！ 14

14．We Both Don’t Know How to Read or Write 16

15．Two Jobs 17

16．An Anecdote 18

17．Who’s Going to Knot My New Silk Tie？ 20

18．Aladdin Rubbed Me the Wrong Way 21

19．What Do You Think I Hired a Lawyer For？ 22

20．Aesop and the Traveller 23

21．Then We Can Have the Peace！ 24

22．A Broken Home 25

23．The Line Is Even Longer！ 26

24．An Agreement 27

25．Is Two Weeks Fast？ 28

26．Did You Get Rid of It？ 29

27．A Clever Boy 30

28．Do You Speak English？ 31

29．The New Name 32

30．Their Dog Bit Me！ 33

31．Did You Want to Tell Me Something？ 34

32．A Private Conversation 35

33．The Medical Term 37

34．He’s Senile！ 38

35．The Good Fortune 39

36．Wonderful！ 40

37．The Three Dead Men 41

38．The Instructor and the Student 43

39．The Girlfriend 44

40．Relax 45

41．I Didn’t Catch a Single Fish！ 46

42．The Fear of Thunder 47

43．Everything except the Weather 48

44．A Thirsty Ghost 50

45．Doct r and Patient 51

46．A Forgetful Couple 52

47．Which Eye Is Blind？ 54

48．Hit Him Again！ 55

49．Really Swallowed a Horse？ 56

50．Because I Pushed Him in 58

51．An Advertisement 59

52．He Often Does This！ 61

53．Food and Talk 62

54．Without Any More Trouble 63

55．The Last One 64

56．Do the English Speak English？ 66

57．No Wrong Numbers 68

58．Edison’s Thinking Cap 69

59．Do You Call That a Hat？ 71

60．Two Glass Eyes 72

61．They Are Here in My Hand！ 73

62．The Secret of Success 75

63．Three Boasters and a Bear 76

64．I Have Spent It All！ 77

65．A Large Black Umbrella 79

66．Who Was Right？ 80

67．Whose Child？ 82

68．A Selfish Landlord 83

69．The Old Woman and the Judge 85

70．My Luggage 87

71．Mule 88

72．He Hated the Book！ 89

73．The Costume 90

74．The Farmer and His Dog 91

75．Buying a Bracelet 92

76．Peasant and Landlord 93

77．Can You Still Hear Me？ 94

78．Once upon a Time？ 95

79．How Times Have Changed！ 96

80．The Friends and the Bear 97

81．A Funny Dialogue 98

82．How Exasperating！ 99

83．Ye Gods！ 100

84．A Prisoner’s Trick 101

85．Mr and Mrs Brown 102

86．The Second Examination Question 103

87．I Am Going to Leave College！ 104

88．The Three Professors 105

89．A Misunderstanding 106

90．It’s in the Directory！ 108

91．A Fool and a Wise Man 109

92．The Lowest Mark 110

93．It’s Unfair！ 111

94．A Box Full of Christmas Cards 112

95．My Umbrella 113

96．The Two Things 114

97．Watching 115

98．Why？ 115

99．When Will She Begin to Work？ 116

100．A Naughty and Clever Boy 117

101．A Wonderful Doctor 118

102．A Victim of Football 120

103．The Boxer 121

104．A Doctor’s Instructions 122

105．A Young Lady 123

106．Never Shoot a Running Bird！ 124

107．Don’t Be Silly！ 125

108．You’we Got More Sense！ 126

109．A Poor Memory 127

110．Why Hit Me？ 128

111．By the Year 2000 129

112．A Spectacular Job 130

113．Why I Bought That Second Ticket！ 131

114．A Barber’s Joke 132

115．The Olympic Symbol 133

116．You！ 134

117．Why Do You Let Her That Way？ 135

118．The Night Before 136

119．1 Shall Die！ 137

120．The Farmer，His Horse，and His Son 138

121．Lost and Found 139

122．He Will Mary You after All！ 141

123．Like Two Boxers 142

124．That’s All Right！ 143

125．My Mistake 144

126．The Fox and the Grapes 145

127．The Fox and the Goat 146

128．Enjoy Your Vegetables！ 147

129．I Forget to Wet the Soap！ 148

130．My Scales Are All Right！ 149

131．How Much Is It？ 150

132．On a Bus 151

133．Not at All Well 152

134．Haven’t You Got a Tongue？ 153

135．School-Go Slow！ 154

136．Is Your Wife Economical？ 155

137．Unmarried or Married？ 156

138．The Salesman and the Little Girl 157

139．Call a Spade a Spade 158

140．I Just Don’t Believe It！ 159

141．I Am the Tailor 160

142．It’s a Great Scheme 161

143．You Can’t Fool Me！ 162

144．Use a Pencil 163

145．You’ve Got It Again！ 164

146．I Won’t Sell It 165

147．Haircut in Office Time 166

148．It’s in Her Brown Hand-bag！ 168

149．I Saw Father Get It Out！ 169

150．An Interesting Answer 170

151．I’ve Just Come In！ 172

152．It’s My Bag 173

153．How Should I Know？ 174

154．How Do You Do，George？ 175

155．An Empty Letter 177

156．It’s Long Distance from New York 178

157．He’s Been Rude！ 180

158．Fishing Just for Small Fish 181

159．Aren’t You Pleased with Us Now？ 182

160．I Wasn’t Asleep！ 184

161．Waiting 185

162．An Announcement 186

163．Five and Six 187

164．Where Were You Yesterday？ 189

165．Send the Bill to My Father！ 190

166．The Most Important Question 191

167．That Isn’t Her Name！ 192

168．What Is There to Worry about Now？ 193

169．What Were They？ 194

170．You Lose！ 195

171．What Do You Think of It？ 196

172．Lincoln and Douglas 197

173．A Naughty Boy 199

174．Clever or Foolish？ 200

175．My Fellow Convicts！ 202

176．The Well-known Millionaire 203

177．Take Me Back to the Prison！ 205

178．A Clear Conscience 206

179．Why？ 208

180．He Is Busy！ 209

181．Your Car Was His Chair！ 210

182．You Will Soon Feel Much Happier！ 212

183．The Letter 213

184．That Man Knows the Future！ 214

185．Two Rich Ladies 216

186．We Have No Waiters Here！ 217

187．That Is a Thief！ 219

188．Selling Your Ladder？ 220

189．I Am Half Mad！ 221

190．Only One Sound 223

191．It Was His First Patient！ 224

192．Always Clean and Tidy 225

193．The Ladies’Lavatory 227

194．Shopping for a Friend 228

195．The Gardener 229

196．The Whire Rose Restaurant 231

197．Olives and Grapes 232

198．Gentlemen！ 233

199．The Actress and the Painter 235

200．The Old Lion and the Young Lion 236

201．Asking for the Position 238

202．Setting You Free！ 239

203．I Did Not Have Time！ 240

204．It Depends！ 242

205．The Flat Tyre 243

206．How Stupid！ 244

207．A Little Mouse 246

208．A Picture of Some Cheese 247

209．At Least 248

210．I Was Inside It！ 250

211．I Call Him Tom！ 251

212．Without Any Clothes On 252

213．I Still Cannot！ 253

214．Go in Free！ 255

215．Blowing the Horn 256

216．The Small Talking Dog 257

217．The Office？ 258

218．What Did Their Father Mean？ 259

219．A Beautiful Ring 261

220．The Rich Man and the Poor Tailor 262

221．Too Clever 264

222．Like Father，Like Son 265

223．He Has Been Deaf for Years！ 267

224．I Have Never Been So Angry！ 268

225．The Lucky Customer 270

226．A Joke and a Bag of Gold 272

227．Don’t Let Anyone Know I Saved You！ 273

228．What Did He Bark for？ 275

229．The Presents 277

230．His Next Visit to the Barber 279