英语幽默精编 2PDF电子书下载

1.The Wrong Eye 1

2.To Lose Weight 2

3.A Peculiar Animal 2

4.No Argument 3

5.The Nearest 4

6.Self-defence 5

7.Correct 5

8.Thanks 6

9.Where Are You Going? 7

10.May I Look at the Book Again? 8

11.What Is a Traitor? 9

12.Mother and Father 10

13.Forgotten 11

14.Two Sons 12

15.The Thief 13

16.A Barking Wife 14

17.A Mysterious Letter 15

18.Henpecked Husbands 16

19.A Driver and a Policeman 17

20.It s His Fault 18

21.An Hour 19

22.A Useful Lesson 20

23.Fire 22

24.Visual Training 23

25.A Pupil 24

26.Jim s Shoes 25

27.Not Responsible 26

28.The Joke 27

29.Dumas 28

30.Horne Tooke 29

31.A Note 30

32.You Are Paying for It 31

33.To Bear False Witness 32

34.How Could You Afford to Buy the Ticket? 33

35.A Job 34

36.Musical Ability 35

37.Picture and Word 36

38.The Bells 37

39.I Lost 38

40.Do You Know My Work? 39

41.The Same Questions 40

42.A Rope Round His Neck 42

43.The Governor 43

44.Two Cross-Eyed Men 44

45.Stupid Question 45

46.A New Captain 46

47.Are You Waiting for Autumn? 47

48.You Don t Have the Guts to Pull the Trigger 48

49.A Clever Thief 49

50.Your Neighbor Did 50

51.Don t Lie to Me! 51

52.My Grandpa Will Pay the Bill 52

53.The Person Who Lived Up to 145 Years 53

54.Where Do You Find a Lawyer? 54

55.Where Is My Other Shoe? 55

56.Making Loan 56

57.Doctor s Prescription 57

58.How to Celebrate Your Birthday? 58

59.It Depends 59

60.I Could Count on You! 60

61.A Clever Parrot 61

62.A Pair of Crocodile Shoes 61

64.It s For the Funeral Tomorrow 63

63.Whose Fault Was It? 63

65.The Daughter s Husband 64

66.Negative Words 65

67.A Pitty Lawyer 66

68.What a Coincidence! 67

69.Out They Go! 68

70.A Good Mother 68

71.Six Cups of Coffee 70

72.To Hire a Driver 70

73.The Formula for Water 71

74.Who Has the Worst Odor? 72

75.The Payment 73

76.Dieting and Investment 74

77.Where Should I Put the Napkins? 75

78.An Innocent Question 75

79.The Reason for Being Late 76

80.Homesick 77

81.Have You Ever Tried Mouthwash? 78

82.The Most Pity Man in the World 78

83.Marry Him 79

84.I m the Papal Nuncio 80

86.Who Broke the Dishes? 81

85.Kill the Umpire 81

87.The Meaning of Dreams 82

88.How to Get His Attention? 83

89.Begging 83

90.A Bet 84

91.Thank Goodness 85

92.Don t Blame Me 85

93.The Wager 86

94.Let It Walk 87

95.I Didn t Expect to Get the Necklace! 88

96.Frozen River 89

97.The Trouble-maker 90

98.The Poor Old Man 90

99.Looking for a Cashier 91

100.Waiting 92

101.The Cue Cards 93

102.The Twins 93

103.A Rib 94

104.The Lawn Mower 95

105.Department-Store 96

106.The Puzzled Witness 96

107.The Cattle Rancher s Wife 97

108.Kidding 98

109.Use Your Hat 99

110.Contraction 99

111.The Two Beaus 100

112.A Bathing Suit 101

113.The Excuse 101

114.I Lost Two Dollars 102

115.The Cunning Wife 103

116.Not Much of a Man 104

117.Paint My House 105

118.The Exhausted Taxpayer 106

119.Good News and Bad News 106

120.I Should Have Taken the Money 107

121.You re Terrific! 108

122.The Wife s Answer 109

123.Before the Store Opened 109

124.I m Not Superstitious! 110

125.The Clever Wife 111

126.The Surgeon and the Plumber 112

127.The Silver Coin 113

128.The Trouble 114

129.We Close at Nine O clock 115

130.The Bad Job 115

131.Daddy s Password 116

132.Who Pushed Me In? 117

133.The Car Accident 118

134.The Boss 119

135.The Avid Golfer 120

136.Problems 121

137.The Missing Husband 121

138.The Fax 122

139.A Revelation 123

140.Inside My Room 124

141.When Do People Talk Least? 124

142.Guessing a Riddle 125

143.To Scare Them 126

144.I Hate School 126

145.An Absolute Zero 127

146.An Essential Correction 127

148.Correct 128

149.Imitation 128

147.He Knows the Answer 128

150.Who Should Be Given the Gift? 129

151.Millionaire 130

152.Not to Be Taken Out 130

153.I Don t Know Her 131

154.4-4=? 132

155.Shut up! 133

156.The Longest and the Shortest 133

157.Tom s Reply 134

159.Your Worries Are Over 135

158.Flying Too Slow 135

160.The Carrot 136

161.With Doll 136

162.A Good Way 137

163.May I Borrow It? 137

164.He Is a Barber 138

165.The Shape of our Earth 138

166.Friends 139

167.Lord Will Save Me 140

168.A Bull or Bear 141

169.The Awkward Guest 142

171.A Married Man 143

170.The Mirror 143

172.The Partner 144

173.Your Paintings 145

174.Buying an Antique 145

175.What s Your Name? 146

176.The Matter 147

177.I Don t Bother 148

178.A Foreign Language! 148

179.Bad News, Good News 149

180.Busy with Appointments 150

181.Attending Funeral 151

182.Misunderstanding 152

183.Beautiful from Head to Toe 152

184.On Their Way to School 154

185.More Considerate 154

186.Give Me One 155

187.When Will the TV Play Begin? 156

188.The Composition Class 156

189.I Am My Father 157

190.Two Cows 158

191.Here 158

192.You Should Be Replaced 159

193.Bring Me the Winner 160

194.The Second Job 160

195.Why Don t You Try Two Plus Two? 161

196.Benefit from the Second Job 162

197.Is This a Real Certificate? 162

198.Positive Analogy 163

199.Likes and Dislikes 164

200.No Chance in the Daytime 165

201.Which Woman? 165

202.I Own My Success to the Telephone 166

203.To Buy a Video 167

204.Age of Innocence 167

205.The New Teacher 168

206.All Except the Music 169

207.The Middle of August 170

208.What Should I Do? 170

209.Let My Chauffeur Answer It! 171

210.A Treasure Hunt 172

211.The Psychologist 173

212.The Artist s Work 174

213.Confessing 175

214.The Professor 176

215.The Parents and the Child 176

216.How Sad! 177

217.Auctions 178

218.The Advertising 178

219.It Ought to Be 179

220.I know 180

221.Time Is Running Out 181

222.The Barrister s Rate 181

223.Your House Called 182

224.The Report Card 183

225.To Move a Couch 184

226.The Customer and the Waitress 184

227.Give Me My Money 185

228.The Marriage 186

229.To Pull the Tooth 187

230.Is Your Mother Home? 188

231.We d Both Be Alive 188

232.The Woman s Problem 189

233.The Object 190

235.Auto Loan 191

234.The College Graduate 191

236.I Send Him to My Room 192

237.It Never Worked 193

238.Now She Knows 194

239.Run Like Hell 194

240.My son Is Home 195

241.The Lawyer and His Client 195

242.How Did You Get Here? 196

243.The Suspect 197

245.I Shut My Eyes 198

244.A Small Steak 198

246.He Dies of Pneumonia 199

247.Hair Transplant 200

248.The Next One 200

249.Fred--Embezzler 201

250.A Speaking Role 202

251.Only One Chair 202

252.Which Won? 203

253.One at a Time 204

254.What Would You Like to Take? 204

256.Pay the Taxes With a Smile 205

255.Kiss Back 205

257.Bank Director 206

258.The Speaker of the House 207

259.To Try on the Trousers 207

260.When Is It Due? 208

261.Could You Repeat? 208

262.Correct the Sentence 209

263.But My Sister Does 210

264.It Depends 210

265.My socks 211

266.My Brother Is Five Months Older Than I Am 212

267.Good Luck on Your Voyage 213

268.A Branch Office 214

269.So Much Confusion 215

270.It Would Relieve the Pressure 215

271.The Lens Cap 216

272.Scare Me Half to Death 217

273.I Got Smart 219

274.The Captain and the Sergeant 220

276.I Never Listen 221

275.What Is Happiness 221

277.Sense of Humor 222

278.The Forgetful Actor 223

279.To Lose Weight 224

280.A Lucky Guy 225

281.Anger and Exasperation 226

282.The Reason for Divorce 227

283.To Fill 228

284.Parking a Car 228

285.The Vulgar Laugh 229

287.How? 230

286.Fishing 230

288.Jealousy 231

289.The Number 232

290.Why? 233

291.I Don t Need to Steal Any More 234

292.The Paper Shredder 235

293.Not Real Life 235

294.Trick or Treat 236

295.My Last Dollar 237

296.The History Class 237

298.the Student s Intelligence 239

297.The Funeral Director 239

299.The TV-sick 240

300.In a Second 241

301.You re Smarter 242

302.50 Years! 242

303.A Huge Job 243

304.The Poor Widow 244

305.To Lose Weight 245

306.The Will 246

308.Bill s Life 247

307.She Wasn t As Smart As You 247

309.Texans Sight 248

310.What Were They to Go with? 249

311.A Clever Husband 249

312.I ll Treat It Like Others! 250

313.Sooner or Later 251

314.Love 251

315.He Ought to Be Ashamed of Himself 252

316.It s Up to Them 253

317.When Did This Happen? 254

318.Give Up Smoking? 255

319.A Kind Artist 256

320.Park Car on Another Street 257

321.Shakespeare Is a Kind of Cheese 258

322.Never Tell Lies 259

323.A Good Son 260

324.Sixteen Years .Experience 261

325.My Eyesight Is Poor 262

326.A Long Speech 263

327.The Same Things 264

328.Connect Your Telephone 265

329.I Did Not Have Time to Look at Them 266

330.I Always Go Sailing on That Day 267

331.Congratulations! 268

332.The Food 269

333.Delicious! 270

334.Worse Than That 271

335.My Bill 272

336.Two of Them 273

337.During the Night 274

338.The Eighth 275

339.Alexander the Great 276